The Gay Letters, Sept. 28, 2020
Why do I suffer so greatly,
if God has a purpose for my life?
It is said
We learn Great Lessons by suffering
because we learn how to prevent it from happening to others
My Great Lesson
is that gay children need greater inclusion in society
when I went into the closet
I hid away my voice on the baseball bench
because it was gay
Being in a competition as a gay was like an oxymoron
Gays were the lowest status
because they were dominated
into submission, and submitted into accepting
their homosexual feelings.
That type of submission, meant homosexuality
It was labeled as an abusive attitude,
homosexuality was, because it meant you accepted you were sexually inferior to abusive dominant men—
like a shard of glass in my heart
subhuman
But when I came home I read and wrote and dreamt about becoming an author.
How did I grow up into such a negative conversation?
and then I thought, what if they're right?
So I went to university and studied it in the closet
I changed my religious beliefs several times
And now I have started my own religion
I'm so mad at Christianity
they almost made me a lifer you know how bad things would have been
if I stayed
I might have stayed in the closet my whole life
a fate worse than death
Just let me go
I am after the new messiah
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