Nyclepi

The term that I want to coin most is nyclepi.  It means laughter in the serendipitous.  I have compared it to love before, writing that love needs to be impressed, whereas serendipity does not.  Nyclepi is not meant to be in contrast to love but as a further, better virtue beyond love, it is a feeling I have felt for other people.  Sometimes love is not enough to say what I feel about other people and myself.

All of these negative thoughts were running through my head tonight.

Life sucks; there is a fate worse than death.

I didn't get the help I needed.

I wasn't treated right.

History wasn't prepared for me.

My family didn't know how to raise me being gay.  Neither did my community.

They all failed me.

History is a Christian mess.

I hate that.

I was born to make a difference?

I don't understand why I was born?

Why do I need to be held back by my past?  Keeping in mind my past is also our past.

Why do I hate it?

What is truly valuable?  Necessities (not everyone has them).  We can't fix every broken leg.  People hurt each other to the point that their fates are worse than death.

And we are only as good as our collective fates.

But I have a standpoint.

The Fate Worse Than Death inflicted as punishment for revenge or terror needs to end.

I see people enjoying their bodies without any recognition of my pain, and I think, how can I acknowledge others' pain and how can they acknowledge mine?

Ask them to.

Tell yourself, I am worth it.

They don't know what's worth it.

You are worth it.

I realized Nyclepi was my answer.  Instead of dabbling around with Love as my primary concept . . . I wanted to push it further.  I wanted to tell people how I felt about them, not in terms of love; but in terms of Nyclepi.  It sounds like 'no-clappy' to me . . . which encapsulates its character.  We applaud Love.  But Nyclepi is beyond applause.  Having this virtue is to be unimpressed with applause and love of one another.  In order to find more than love.  Being in what is not impressed with each other does not need to mean a negativity; it helps us push each other further.  To find serendipity in all our losses.  It takes a great amount of work and skill to be able to.

My final negative thought was that we're all just mixing in religious suffering without knowing how or why.

And so I take up Nyclepi, a concept that has stuck with me for over five years now.  I invented it when I was at my worst suffering.  I felt nyclepi for my peers, professors, and my family.  And it meant to be unimpressed generally; but also to be beyond serendipity in kindness.  For when we are unimpressed with one another and we admit it to ourselves it's not like saying we dislike each other.  It's more like saying we want more for each other.  And that's how I feel about my sister.  And my mom.  And the rest of my family and friends.  And that's why it's a virtue.