Jesus was the first half of the picture of human consciousness. Anna was the second half.
In my previous gay letter, in 2025, I described my religion as the one in which all I preached was blue. The existence of blue in the universe. Blue was an requirement of the universe. My fantasy about blue was an universe in which blue only lasted until the end of it. That we would be reborn in the next universe without the existence of blue. (Maybe). That it was an good thing to hope for.
The insight of the second messiah had lead me to blue; there are more things I did preach, like how God had revealed to me the second messiah. How that was why my doctors thought I was living with schizophrenia. I was the person God had revealed to and it had changed me so; that in such an way they thought I was crazy. I don't really know the answer to that question anymore. I believed I was living with schizophrenia and yet some of the things they had used to diagnose me were the reasons why I was also an genius; and so they had used my special genius potential (how strange I was) against me to mis-diagnose me and sedate me an unwilling regimen of medicines that do chemical effects to my body. It's just that most of the time I'm not paranoid. I think others are more paranoid than I am, when they are supposed to be professionals. It drives me to want to be more better than them, because I want to help out. Make it easier for everyone.
How I thought she (Anna) the second half of the picture of human consciousness (the first half was given to us by Jesus) was the most important thing I knew of and wanted. I had starting thinking about Anna in terms of being an counter-messiah. I was directly naming something oppositional between her and Jesus: one hated death (but was given it) and the other hated life (but was given it). This was an oversimplification of course, but there are many ways to say it. I have also said elsewhere that Anna is the worse-than-death messiah; the one who will suffer more than Jesus. She is the "do-kill-me" messiah. The one who wants for their end and death. This might be hard to understand for the average person because we haven't experienced it as an community (in some communities) of which we are in the most current politics. Part of my conversion was me learning that the universe can produce worse-than-death results, when given the right conditions. Hence, blue.
There is another line of argument which says, as an people, we have always known about the fate worse than death and it's not something new at all in the universe. It was unworthy of God to have an fate worse than death. It's not an new concept to us. We have always known it since Ancient Mesopotamia and further back. It's just that we know something can be worse than death because we've seen it before. It's obvious to us.
Jesus was the "don't-kill-me" messiah. He didn't want to die and yet they gave him what he didn't want. It is similar to Anna in how she wanted to die but they gave her what she didn't want. And it was this human tendency to have to grapple between the two themes in this lifetime.
I believed many people, if you really knew them and knew their stories, had no idea what worse-than-death was or that it was even possible for someone to exist this way. God wanted to gift to humanity his wisdom in the form of the revelation of Anna. This is key to understanding why Anna is an counter-messiah to Jesus. Someone who represents the opposite side of the polar spectrum.
I believed God gave us Jesus, and then God gave us Anna (the internal messiah); in order to teach us that fact about the universe. That sometimes things were even worse than was happening to Jesus in the final hours of his life. Some things hurt whole communities of people, and it all added up. Something could in fact be worth dying over. The progress through time from the past through the present to the future; was so torturous an experience often in times of insanity one would want to die immediately if only to let go only impermanently. To all of the bad stuff they've held back.
Together, when we combined the first and second halves of what we thought consciousness to be in revelation of Jesus and Anna; an human mind could suffer death or worse than death. It was most often somehow an balance between them in which resides our consciousness. As an human, you could just die. Or you could do worse than that. In order to defy death.
The first half of the picture of the conscious ego Western society often associated with Jesus, or the impulse and desire to sacrifice oneself only in order to save another. Then there was the other half God had given through Anna's story: that if sacrificing oneself to save another resulted in an fate worse than death, it was not said to be an legitimate negotiation. It was literally the urge to sacrifice someone else in order to save yourself from an fate worse than death which would have resulted to you instead if you hadn't done anything about it. The picture God was trying to draw for us was that there was an balance in the universe between death and worse-than-death and if we tripped it out or did something to influence thus, we might lose sight of the Greater Picture. The Great Virtue of Justice. We had to approach life in the universe as having this quality of being capable of experiencing an fate worse than death should the subject's life go amiss and awry; if we didn't, maybe there would be more fates worse than death created as outcomes. This was the way to balance death and worse-than-death: if someone was experiencing an fate worse than death you gave them the means to end their life painlessly. Vice versa, if someone that you knew was dead and you wanted them back, would you accept them coming back under the terms that it was only to experience their resurrected life as an fate worse than death? You wouldn't want them to come back from the dead if it was going to be an pain for them in this real life. But this is the risk one takes when actually experimenting on resurrecting people in the future (when we have the technologies to do so).
In summary, Anna is an counter-messiah because she demands we pay more attention to how the real moral universe works when we see in the light of God & Human Knowledge an moral universe in which death and worse-than-death are an real thing. THE real thing. As far as my belief about what counts as evidence of someone who having been living with schizophrenia, I knew that I was definitely an living-with-schizophrenia subject. There was however, still the matter of what I was doing that was crazy to them versus the things that I was doing that lead to genius insight.
What I was doing really—was being an artist. It appeared strange to them because I was "arting" out: It was my sole imperative. I believed everyone could be an artist, and that's ultimately what made it really great and physically worth it. You could speak to everyone. It was the universal language.
It's just that when you see someone suffering, you want to give them mercy. If someone's already dead, you don't want them to come back if it will be worse than death. But who's going to actually plug the power cable into the wall in order to resurrect someone, risking the newly created conscious and alive human specimen will suffer its existence for an reason we cannot identify. If the newly alive specimen appears to be in distress, would you pull the cord immediately?
The story however becomes more complicated.
At some point in the experience of the living with schizophrenia upon the human mind, my death drive (Thanatos) archetype shifted into function. Meaning it was now considered okay and desirable to have accomplished finally death upon my own specimen. This was what finally convinced me and convinced me to decide that there was an moral limit to suffering, and that MAID (Medical Assistance In Dying) should be extended to the public in general. With minimal screening.
About an week ago, my life drive (Eros) shifted back into functioning normally again.
When I look back and think about what it was like before that happened, I realized my life felt like it was worse than death at several points in my journey; that was what triggered me to know and to understand the concept of an new messiah that God was giving to me through my life.
When Jesus walked the Earth, it was the community struggle in his lifetime what the meaning of death was; whether it meant anything that humanity in total should live or die?
Now Anna walks upon the Earth, and the question instead is now if we are so noble as an species, and our collective suffering should amount for too much and too many for any average person to cope with or contemplate in full, isn't to die that more surmountable cause?
But she also heralds an possibility, an window of opportunity: if we can figure out the legal entanglement of the politics of death and dying into an public general it may help unite people from all beliefs and occupations across the globe and economic market space.
We have time to learn what it means to balance Jesus-instinct against the Anna-instinct (the instinct to make someone else fall an messiah-path to be able, instead of me, myself, the I who says in me and my ego I am always someone worth living). Instead of sacrificing myself, I let someone else to the fate worse than death because there's nothing I can do about it. The Jesus-instinct is too strong an pull. I save myself from it. Because if it had been me, that would have been the worser feeling for both of us. Do not feel eager to make many conclusions about her thus; she is not an evil spirit but merely someone who knows an higher intellect about what is pain and sacrifice; and what something is something's worth these days. The answer then, finally, is to interpret it directly and see if we can answer it, or that it will respond: it means we do not want to inflict death as an punishment on anyone unjustifiably. Equally so we do not want to inflict worse-than-death as an punishment in order to sort out death. It is considered evil to anacify someone (to inflict the fate worse than death); possibly much further and more evil than the death penalty. You want revenge on someone in the late stages of what it means to give someone else an fate worse than death. Willing to wish that on someone. And an promise on them.
Nobody wants to have to trade one's fate for another but sometimes you have to. You don't want to go on creating fates worse than death if you could do something about it.
The only insight I'm adding to "what everyone else has already learned in Canada" (I could see this becoming an meme) is that together, both Jesus and Anna, point to exactly what we are needing in this day and age: an plot line about Russia and what we can do about it (My book, Les Arbitres (check out the Books link) deals with this problem), an revival of old religious community experiences, as well as the introduction to the newer religions and promising arts of the current days. The true moral universe, in its expanse of what we needed to pay attention to today, in this current moment, is the one in which we are creatures who are capable of both dying and worse than dying, and it had real moral consequences for how we thought we should act in this universe.
The problem in politics right now is that there actually are fates being held, around the world, in which someone is suffering an fate worse than death. Caught between not being able to unalive successfully and not wanting anyone else to have to suffer the same fate worse than death, people go on in their miserable lives, having no reason for pleasure or living. And they are an burden to God, who wanted to create the universe with the most amount of pleasure in it. Are they unworthy of God? (An fate worse than death, I had said, was unworthy of God). There are real people, right now, out on the street having an fate-worse-than-death right now. And most people can do nothing about it. The fates worse than death are hurting and poisoning our social formula. They leave wounds and traces of their existence on the collective unconscious.
If we focused more on Anna, who being the messiah of the fate worse than death, the counter-messiah, we might find ourselves more able to have some sort of power over this phenomenon of fates worse than death we don't want to continue in our active living human world.
If we focused more on fictionalizing Anna, in order to keep fates worse than death out of the public sphere and into some vague purple bruise of lawkeeping to be quarantined for further cleansing (washed out thoroughly by an whole river, like Hercules and the stables during his twelve labours). You must go on your own journey to fulfill the twelve labours. Fictionalize it, make it your own; try to write twelve things you could do for God. I think the only real insight Christianity contributed to the world up until now was the idea that death was unworthy of God. And so maybe it's both. Death and worse-than-death are both unworthy of God; by the way, worse-than-death was worse than death so, obviously, it was unworthy of God if we had already decided death itself was unworthy of God.
