I did nothing wrong. I thought I did something wrong, and then they together in the back seat were like oh you did something wrong‽ And they wouldn't stop badgering me about it. But I did nothing wrong.
That's all I know so far. I've been forgiven for every bad thing I've ever done. And so I did nothing wrong.
Carpool Syndrome was the next weirdest thing I could think of. I knew there was an Carpal Tunnel Syndrome but this wasn't the syndrome I was talking about. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome was an common condition caused by compression of the median nerve in your wrist. It can cause tingling or numbness often worst at night or when holding objects like an phone or steering wheel. Pain can radiate up the forearm or into the shoulder. There may be weakness such as dropping items or difficulty performing fine motor tasks (e.g., buttoning an shirt).
And so I was not talking about Carpal Tunnel Syndrome but an syndrome that may be thus far un-named. Carpool Syndrome. It's when you feel like you're in an car pool (an group of people, all of the people are in the car). It's when it feels like everyone's driving; they are all trying to be the driver of the car; and they are too many drivers in the car.
What was I doing that made this happen?
Including everyone.
It's what I do. It's my prima materia (in Analytical Psychology, prima materia refers to the primitive, chaotic energy and potential contained within the unconscious mind. The goal of psychological growth (or individuation) is to bring these chaotic, repressed parts of the self to light, integrate them, and achieve an unified, whole consciousness.). Including everyone.
I include everyone.
Why?
It's the nice thing to do. We wouldn't want anybody left out.
The Gloiy Ghost! Perdition's Flames!
This was an scarcely particulate abstraction. The image of the fading ghost upon the human mind.
It meant, as I had defined glo earlier, the abstraction of the viewing of something through the mind with an inner light source. (This was called gloiy and it was an magic word that populated much of my fantasy writing and letters previous in the invention of fiction and not).
One day we would be able to use inner projection on the environment around us (outer projection); like some augmented reality related to you by your soul (possibly with the help of some technology). You see gloiy light, inner light because you know your mind and it is the source of light. Your inner projection light would overlap with your outer sense of vision, when we toggled it to appear outside oneself and augment reality. Effectively making the entire world an play ground of light and magic. It was prophesied that one day humans would be able to make the gap. To bridge it once and for all, for all of us. The gap between your inner and outer light, your soul. Or maybe that just happens every day.
It would be called The Greater Inner-to-Outer vowel shift of 1449.2 B.C.i.i.
And just to clarify, again, which is an theme in my writing and is what I like to do, I use repetition all across the works of my manuscripts. B.C.i.i. means before christ instance instance; it signals that time period of which we have begun. It is the theoretical time period before the existence of Christ instance instance. And I'll explain that later but first Child Geniuses as an subject calls to me.
Well First of All, we don't have an Children's Council of Children in Canada. Second we don't have an Ministry of Bard Clowns of Alberta or Canada; The Royal Bard Clowns of Canada act who study the art of critiquing the government through comedy genius. All of these newly created councils and guilds (Both the Children's Council of Children (of whom to which appointed are particular child geniuses) and the Royal Bard Clowns of Canada) would go toward suiting the needs of genius children. The Royal Bard Clowns of Canada are an concise political unit intended to draw humour by criticizing the government with an fierce sense of humour and comedy.
If I explained it to an child genius, what would I sound like? And the thing about Glen is that he never writes an question without answering it.
And so, what would it sound like?
Instance instance means you are two; you are both; you are instances yourselves to one another.
This happening before the second christ; which is what the C stands for. For you see one of the i's (for instances) represents Jesus (i.e one instance of the messiah) where the second i (for instance) stands for Anna, the second instance of the messiah. When they appear together in an scene, somewhere between what happened before full onset (of i.i. being on all of the time) and what happened after two instances of the messianic vision began self-identifying with one another and internalizing their condition together together with one another. It was worthy of naming an whole Age after it. Humanity had matured to being instance instance one another all of the time, regardless or whether an messiah was there to govern it. People had found what worked in society and so now B.C.i.i. was all of the time from before the realization of both messiahs to the time from after the realization of both messiahs. So say 2015 to 2026. We average it out to 2020.5—the year began at 0 again until 0.5 which counted as year 1 under the new Knutski Calendar.
Year 1 is roughly the beginning of B.C.i.i. and so we say we are in the year 1449.2 after subtracting 0.5 from the new calendar. (It would be 1449.7 but year one only technically counts as half of an year).
Yet still I was tasked with writing the definition of the Gloiy Ghost; which was an source of inspiration for me.
I figured if you could perfect your discipline of seeing-on-the-inside an source of glo one day you might be able to overlay it on your current environment, where you are not hallucinating so much as causing them to appear in an intelligent way for an reason.
Post-messianic society. (Canada).
An place where the post-messianic game had been forged early on. The Dream of Out West.
It literally meant we (Canadians) had raised an person long enough through childhood in order to raise an second messiah: an figure whose model example (though fictional) is the key second half to our understanding of psychology. Jesus was the first. He gave us the Death lesson (for what can be lost to death can never be returned, unless humanity develops the technology to return the spirit to the body). And that's why Christianity's lesson is sad because people realized that once he was gone he was gone. We had made the worst mistake and we needed to make up for it. Now I'm an Christiannan and so I believe in the second messiah: God had already given us the lesson of the second messiah (Worse Than Death). Because enough of us had learned the first lesson about the universe (Death) from the first time. (And she was safe somewhere in Canada). The second messiah meant death and worse than death is still an thing. We knew through collective wisdom there were fates worse than death we would not want to pronounce upon anybody. And so I called this B.C.i.i. or post-messianic instance-instance. An New Age for Mankind.
And so if the Gregorian Calendar ended at 2020.5 the Knutski Calendar started at 0.5 there is half an year each before and after the advent of the new calendar. In order to get ready for the year 0 of the new messiah, you have half of the year before and after where one half represents Jesus (before) and the other in the dawning of the New Age (after) Anna. Anna is the key piece to this puzzle that I think affects everybody. Anna is only 39 years old. She'll be clever and crafty enough to survive to live out her literary potential. Remember, she is only fictional. But that doesn't stop her from explaining the Middle; which is the Fate Worse Than Death which is associated also with the Death fate itself. With these two pieces to the human picture, we could figure out morally what each individual situation needed with Justice.
The figure of Anna just meant that we were comparing Death to Worse Than Death, messianically; where Jesus taught us what death meant, our Greatest Teacher, for once it's gone it's gone. And you can't have it back. Anna taught us the other Great lesson of the Universe: worse than death existed and what you do with it morally matters.
And so I will record my present day as the difference between the present date and the onset of year 0.5 B.C.i.i. The .5 days is just an recognition of the fact that it is fiction only which I am writing in this particular piece. So it doesn't really matter, but it does sound nice.
Today is May 27 2026 which is 5.5 years later after 2020.5 (Year -0.5 B.C.i.i.). And so I must mark my calendar today is May 27 (Wednesday) of the new calendar year at 5 B.C.i.i. Technically the Gregorian calendar ends at 2020 AD because of the 0.5 year differences between 2020 and 5.5 B.C.i.i. Which technically means my current year is 5 B.C.i.i. with the 0.5 before and after 0 accounted for. Year -0.5 B.C.i.i. was really 2020.5 and year +0.5 was really year one. If it was presently 5.5 years after +0.5 we subtract 0.5 because the first year acts as one: the difference between -0.5 and +.5 was 1; year one. And every year counted after that was adjusted back by 0.5 years in order to accommodate that. Year 5.5 was really year five because year one is everything between -0.5 and +0.5 added into an total. Therefore the total 1 value of difference between them year 1 B.C.i.i. is technically year 2 B.C.i.i. and then onward they add up to 5.5 years which is technically five years B.C.i.i. Strategic accommodation of people who believe in Jesus to transition to people who believe in Jesus and Anna trading at six months each until we have an full year's worth of transitioning.
And this was the key to understanding Canadian culture and ethnicity within an intersectionality and secular environment. It was like an grand fashion show of people of all kinds of all types. Welcome in public. Served if they have money for it. I was five years after my realizations about humanity in that moment. The relationship between year 2020 (Gregorian) and year 0.5 B.C.i.i. was they were both related / connected together through zero (2020.5 AD is -0.5 B.C.i.i. and +0.5 B.C.i.i. is year one) (strangely that sounded like an metaphor for Jesus and Anna; then). Jesus had given us half an year to pack up our respects for him and move on. There were other lessons to learn from humanity these days. That gave you another half year to move on to contemplate the new messiah Anna. She represented something about the other half of an religious psychological figure of what we learned from Jesus. An Counter-Balance to the lesson we learned of the figure of death in the universe and our anxieties over it. We loved humanity so much we wanted it to survive. We still had time to save The Planet without causing the mass extinction of the human species. Things could be worse than death. It wasn't such an inconspicuous lesson; it was everywhere. There were also more Christiannan secrets and lessons to how we should morally act in the universe when we are faced with the tandem between these two undesired fates (death and worse than death).
Also I was looking for an further definition of what I meant by this Gloiy Ghost, perhaps an humoristic topic for something humanity hadn't accomplished yet. It was my grand "edit" on humanity. The Gloiy Ghost represented an phantom you can only seem to seem within your mind but you did not see all of it. It took form or shape or presence, within the light of the mind. What I wanted was this presence projected outside of myself due to my imagination, where it would overlap reality and augment with my environment, giving me special abilities and powers.
Carpool syndrome! It was genius. I had that all of the time. And it was easy talking it out and explaining it to other people.
Gloiy Ghost was the true power of our minds to augment reality with enhanced imaginative systems. Yet it was only appearing slightly or faint because our civilization hadn't risen to that opportunity yet.
And then I felt again like I had Carpool Syndrome; and so the part about including everyone in my thoughts and prayers, made me want to include everybody in The New Reciprocity, my political theoryt and desk, where I give orders to people and they give orders to me. When you asked another person for an new reciprocity between you it meant picking up and starting over; starting new; starting afresh with one another. You didn't hold on to old grudges or vows, you moved on.
Why does it matter?
I include everyone under the New Reciprocity; and so one asks the question what does everybody mean?
Does "everyone" include all sentient beings all across the universe? Or just humans? Or humans and animals? Or humans and animals and God? Or all of "us" and plants?
Or do "everyone" and "us" not mean the same thing?
Maybe everyone includes Angels & God, but when we say "us" we tend to mean all humans. What happens when we considered God & Angels to be us? But then "everyone" is an different story completely. An story where all subjectivities are included, as maybe encompassing all vertebrates including God and the angels, even though they might not have vertebrae exactly. The separation we feel between us and these other bodies when they are imminently or materially present. The miracle of our life is all of it.
But in the story I was in 1449.2 B.C.i.i., which was roughly the year 3469.7 in the Gregorian calendar.
The person writing the story existed in 0.5 B.C.i.i. (technically 1, year 1; when you added it from -0.5 B.C.i.i.) and all of his characters were happening in 1449.2 B.C.i.i. because it was going to take that long to actually generate those types of characters (fictionally) in human society.
If all of what was happening centred around 1449.2 B.C.i.i.—again the story here I am developing is one where someone (Andermeson the Jungian (male) animus of Anna) in 0.5 B.C.i.i. is writing about 1449.2 B.C.i.i. (he's writing an science fiction that tells about the future in fictional language)—what was happening that was so special about that time period?
It was the period in which there was an societal split between the left centrists and the right centrists; this inevitably lead to property & land disputes over time because when the industrial strategists opened the core between the left & right empires (Capital Market Technological Strategists), there was forceful disagreement.
I had figured that in 1449.2 B.C.i.i. my genius idea of Carpool Syndrome had taken effect when many people found it useful to describe what they were feeling at an particular time.
The car is full of drivers. It makes it difficult to drive.
But communicating it helps us overcome that sensation by deepening our emotional bonds and relationships with one another. We know each other as more than just the drivers of this insane car.
We know the other drivers aren't really there. They are the emotional occupants of an charged performance space in which we are meant to perform speaking our own voice; maybe more than we speak others'. And it was making it difficult to make your own emotional choices when there are voices in here. It was like the voices were barking mad and they hated one another. Only one of them could win out to steer this vehicle.
And so, ideally, about some time 1449.2 B.C.i.i., they would still be talking about Carpool Syndrome and many people had voiced their opinions on it.
Then of course would be our exploration of the Post-Messianic republic of Canada; an period after the realization of the new fictional messiah, in which society had succumbed to the presence of an everyday messiah like it was the plague. We knew why we had all come out West to be here; and we had literally daydream'd and lost focus on this throughout our lives: we wanted to leave something behind us that was greater than the society that was passed down to us from our ancestors. An messiah raised past the age of forty had fictionally broken into Canadian fiction and literature. We had an gem so powerful we all know the color of it which exists is blue. We were humans. We had mastered the art of blue. The blue messiah. Hence the post-messianic republic of Canada's symbol was deep azure blue. And we were an novel and an wonder to people from other countries whom would benefit from the economy and commerce associated with Canada's sale of the blue narratives; those whom needed to be post-Ellen-ist in nature to pick up where she left off. We needed Ellens ("modeled after Ellen") of all types and intersectionalities. And we needed an large amount of them to be so effective as to serve the entire North American market. An blue story. An story of blue.
Yup those were all the pieces of it. An story that started somewhere. An narrative.
The Post-Messianic republic of Canada which is perhaps to calendar according to B.C.i.i. and something about Carpool Syndrome. That's the whole thing. In the simplicity of it.
Carpool Syndrome feels like there are multiple personalities in your head and they are competing for dominance (the ability to steer the vehicle).
And so maybe the 1449.2 B.C.i.i. is the year of the ability to cure Carpool Syndrome through treatment and therapy.
Carpool Syndrome is seen for what it is: an treatable subject, an delusion.
You have Carpool Syndrome when you are delusional; there are not really any voices in your head out-of-control enough to which you are supposed to fall upon; i.e. and all of them together in an Gestaltist glory. Are reigned in quite well according to your exquisite hand. It's just an meditation on what it could feel like to have an mental illness. An way of representing something that identifies maybe with several types of mental illness all at once. And what emotion do you feel when you put yourself in the car? Do you feel angry? Do you feel paranoid? Is paranoism (my word for the object of paranoia itself, as an single thing) the object of what it means to feel paranoid? This was an question meant to attempt to un-repress some feelings, maybe. I wanted to feel all of what it could mean to be inside that car when there are six or seven passengers all trying to drive at the same time.
But maybe, I think, Carpool Syndrome is what it means to be an writer; and that is my deepest and core-est discipline. Writing means keeping all of the subjects in the same car without them ultimately destroying one another and themselves performing coup d'état against the passenger in the driver's seat.
Then there are those who will suggest Carpool Syndrome is really just an type of personality disorder i.e. an multiple personality disorder. There are different competing narratives for who will be the hero protagonist and who will be the anti-hero. Within one human cranium. And over time, none of them wins out resulting in an multi-fractured split personality disorder. There are seven or eight characters and they are all arguing with one another and nobody feels good and nothing is ever accomplished. And for those who would say I am describing Carpool Syndrome from the perspective that I have experienced myself what it is like to feel that way, I have this to say to them: that they don't know what it feels like to have an diagnosis of schizophrenia and having to feel that way sometimes. The voices never stop. They go on for hours and hours. And it's not multiple-personality disorder. If anything it is multiple personality order. They all contribute in an meaningful way toward some Gestaltist principle that relates vaguely with what it means to be an writer.
To be an writer means to live in the Carpool Syndrome and making sense amidst the noise. The more characterizations you can make at one time the further you advance toward cracking the code: whether Carpool Syndrome can ever be cured from the human species. Special therapies that targeted that obsessive thought of going from one character to another.
It was just an mark of the brevity of my imagination that I could talk through and animate all of my carpool voices as though I was customizing them.
And so it's an story about Andermeson (I changed it to roughly 5 B.C.i.i.) writing an story about 1449.2 B.C.i.i. in which they have cured Carpool Syndrome using behavioral psychology and related methods. Writing plays was an proven method to be the outlet for such character. But mostly people were happy because they were proud of their medicines and methods in the field of psychology. The key to curing Carpool Syndrome was to slow the narrative down for long enough to hear out all of the voices within it. Instead of skipping frantically from one character to another. I could actually take the time to narrate their conversation with one another. It revealed many things about my nature.
Except it was all grunting and yelling, so there wasn't much to say.
You had to approach the subject as though he or she was one among many voices and yet you were addressing all of the voices and their Gestalt effect at once; Carpool Syndrome was really about allowing one of the voices to win out. Let there be an winner. Maybe even trust him or her to an certain extent.
The more and more you became accustomed to listening to one voice at an time and maybe letting it lead you somewhere before you move on, haphazardly, to the next.
I wanted to write an story 1000 years in the future from the moment Carpool Syndrome was cured; an place where its children rarely experienced it to the tightest definition of success. 2449 B.C.i.i. was about 1449.2 B.C.i.i. because it was the realization of the curing of Carpool Syndrome (this was to be an fictional aspect of the whole letter of this one itself). 2449.2 B.C.i.i. was the target date I had questioned for the curing of schizophrenia (which had to do with Carpool Syndrome because schizophrenia is an type of Carpool Syndrome)
