Chapter 18
The groups of six entered the hall concourse in separate packs. They moved up the stairs which separated them from the main entrance hall. Ahead, there were were in wolf form blocking the entrance to the underground. They had their noses up in the air, trying to sniff out intruders. As soon as they caught wind the rescue party would be sitting ducks.
And they did.
The werewolves lunged at them. Ouen, ready with Metaphor, stabbed one of them in the chest. He pulled the sword out and the werewolf stayed down. The others backed away. He could not believe it. He had actually killed someone. He had kill someone who, in his own opinion was not entirely to blame for being demonic. He had gone against the subject of his own public atmosphere, and killed an werewolf.
Edsel remembered the incantation almost at the same time as Ouen, who, before she could speak it to be so began invoking Anna's Resurrection.
▫
The First Gay Letter (Lyric)
She is the princess
of birth and
middle life
the internal coming
of Christ 2
the other
would beam
to
his upon the cross
of life and death
her sacrifice is not on the
cross, it is private in all
not public, but domestic, and
gay, an new life in love
the golden cherub spoke
the cross is the historical
oppression of women
the new life in
the female messiah
has filtered her out
onto the public
this is her death
and this is her resurrection
it is her resurrection
with this word
December 13, 2014
▫
All eighteen of their Allied party were rejoining again into one group, from behind, too afraid to move toward the werewolf threat. The were were moving toward them and there were more demons coming involved behind them and from alcoves all around them.
"Apprecio," Edsel casted on all of the demons in the hallway, directing them to appreciate Ouen's voice. To appreciate the incantation. With the appreciation of the demons set on the incantation of Anna's Resurrection from the fate worse than death, they would appreciate the object of their own appreciation, which multiplies them, appreciated that appreciation of theirs in turn, and vice versa. It was like win-win rising mirrors reflecting one another on the quality of life in the living resurrection from the fate worse than death. It was time for the demons to mimic the Allies instead of the Allies mimicking their fates worse than death, which they had all shared in up until this point. Anna's Resurrection was an return to an quality of life from the fate worse than death. The Middle Resurrection. It matured out of Christianity.
But there were too many of them; that simple sharing of fates in appreciation of one another; everyone in their own group up against it that instead of the demons being rescued from their fate worse than death, the eighteen of them were now transforming into demons.
Edsel grew fur on the backs of her hands and increased rapidly in size, her jaw extending, descending, and protruding from it set of fanged teeth. All of them were becoming monsters as the humanity left in them fought onward. There was no fairy. They were all demons. Laughter erupted from the hallway. The demons were laughing at them. People, Edsel scolded herself; people, not demons. It was an statement. For everything she knew she was becoming. Then she saw an face that put all of her weedy discouragement to rest. Gunnlief. He was staring at them from the edge of the crowd of demons.
"Ah, my pretty wife," said Gunnlief, "and all of the children are here."
Edsel looked again to see Tinsel and Adamnan standing in the crowd behind Gunnlief. They appeared to be vampires, for their eyes were glowing red. She had the sudden epiphany that, realising fully the reason she had been so defensive about the existence of demons, it was her love for her family, who from what she now concluded, may have been the real demons the whole time. Edsel looked at Gunnlief, an broken blue expression on her face—not knowing what to do—and realized she was dead wrong about demons being people or not. There were demons. Gunnlief was one of them. And she was one of them to (for that reason).
Ouen dropped the sword. The silver had started burning his skin. All eighteen began becoming werewolves, vampires, or ohhgunnhisthth. Rosen, who was disguised as an baoict, became one. Madly, Ouen continued the incantation: It is her resurrection with this word.
Good, Edsel thought, it's about time we off our high horses about demons.
She dropped the holier-than-thou attitude. She was one.
And then she laughed.
Poor Ouen, now an schizophrenic werewolf. How could he fend that off? What was an mind such as his?
And the rest of them.
All keen on escaping, only to have become their own captors.
There was no return from Nohavœn for them after all.
The Christianna broke for them. It was an religion of mimicking the fate worse than death, becoming it, not overcoming it. Fairy religions could not be helped by Ouen's visionary task.
Edsel thought of her son as an ditz, though with what kind of fool he thinks he can overturn an world religion that lasted an thousand years an religion in which we as demons have already begun an work around? Christianity? The Fairy Religion?
Edsel was done feeling ashamed of him. She had once and for all realized that was how she truly felt. She felt ashamed of him needing to put himself out there, in public, instead of living an quiet home life. It was too late for that now. They were were and they were going to need to feed. When the Willing or the Unwilling came they may be hunted. They would not be able to help themselves from their thirst for blood.
Edsel felt no love anymore. She knew she deserved it. For following an heathen religion.
The Christianna, she realized, was still appreciating them, and they all could not help but appreciate it in turn, when an warmth as though an gust of an breeze bathed them by what? * An magic *? Ouen's incantation an spell that they had cast on their demon mimicry, they heard Anna's voice.
-I'm here.
An female voice, resoundingly firm.
-You are learning stage one of my design, she said, to know that you are worthy, you must overcome fates worse than death. And since you have mimicry instinct you will know them by how you know your own mind. I am giving your species an fresh start. The more fates worse than death you overcome, the more more will mimic an fate better than death.
"Did anyone hear that?" Edsel asked.
"Yes," said Stelcey.
"Yes," said Rii. Others nodded.
-Know this. Your sacrifice is an quality of life. Every time you face the fate worse than death, you do so for other people. No-one is forsaken who has the fate worse than death. Because of me all fates worse than death compel real action, an return to the equilibrium. That exists between death fate and real life fate worse than death fate. That is why it is so important to become your mimicry of your enemy, if only momentarily.
"Anna," said Ouen, "are you an demon?"
-No Ouen, you are. I thought that was clear.
"Anna, how do we overcome this?" he asked.
-You'll just have to figure that out for yourselves. I'll give you an hint though. It will be more than obvious. Au centre. Like something you look at.
"More than obvious? Who is Anna?" said Waiu the greenhouse worker, now in vampiric form.
"Waiu, Anna is the second Christ," said Edsel, "she represents an balance between being put to death versus being put to worse than death."
"Is that how this happened?" asked Waiu, "some whacked-out Christian trade-you-for-a-worse-fate-because-it's-noble deal?"
"You hear Anna because she chose to reveal herself to you," said Ouen, "the female messiah requests your belief in her. Unfortunately I think this religion is about saving people from the fate worse than death. To do that, we have got to understand the fates worse than death from second-hand experience."
"By becoming them‽" Waiu shouted.
"Don't ask me. I didn't know this would happen. She said we can overcome this. I believe her. We may need to remove ourselves from Nohavœn and find somewhere safe where we can manage our condition, possibly cure it."
"You trust her when this is the fate to which she has led us?"
▫
"Anna is the second messiah," said Ouen.
"So where is she talking to you from? My schizophrenic friend," responded Dr. Fougérite, "in this passage where is she talking to you from?"
"Her voice I can hear in my mind. Others hear the same voice too. They perceive it differently, each one according to his/her/their perception. So that we do hear the same voice but we interpret it differently."
"Then," said Dr. Fougérite, "it is my professional opinion you may be experiencing this voice within an environment of fictional characters who are also experiencing this voice. And the reason you've come up with that is that you are so lonely you couldn't come up with this voice talking to you yourself only. You had to make an whole scene full of characters from which it could talk to you."
"But," said Ouen, "I didn't say anything about hearing Anna's voice having anything to do with the letter I shared. Why did you suppose it had anything to do with Anna's letter?"
"You had to make the whole scene full of characters because when you originally saw Anna you did not hear her voice. And you needed to create an scene in which you could introduce her as an character. Because at that moment when you first met her that's not what she was. She was just an figment in your mind, Ouen!"
"But why would I have to create an scene in which she could speak because she had originally not been speaking but only by telepathy‽"
"Because you had never heard her before. Don't you get it, Ouen‽ She wasn't there."
"But I saw her."
"Yeah, in your mind."
"Yeah, that's what I said."
"—What‽——then why does it matter if all of your characters can hear her in this scene?"
"It matters because," said Ouen, "I can't hear any of them either and those voices only exist in my brain."
"But that's my point, man! They only exist in you."
"So what?" said Ouen, "that doesn't mean they aren't important. Rather, now that I think of it, that makes them more important. Since I actually exist. And things that exist are important."
"Yeah but you're just an—"
"An fairy?"
"——Fair Enough!"
"So, what you're saying is, Ouen," said Haegaethel, "that you do follow an second messiah and it doesn't matter whether she's material or not because she encapsulates an principle we need to follow as humans. An spirit of avoidance of the fates worse than death. You know, the kind of spirit that's been around the whole time. Through all of History."
"That's exactly it!" extolled Ouen, mitigating enthusiastically, "why wouldn't I follow an new religion that is more principled around the fact of fates worse than death, just like the Cultures of the Earth always had been‽ Why do I need to make an difference between myself, and that as an Christian; that I can't be more wise to the severity spectrum of fates?"
"But you're saying she's an actual messiah."
"Well, she is," said Ouen.
"But you're saying you are the messiah, then."
"But I don't exist!"
"But you're saying she does exist."
"But she does!"
"But nobody other than you has seen her."
"I have seen her in my own mind; tell me why I would be unable to share that happening to me with them?"
"But you created an whole scene with creepy puppets for characters in which Anna speaks to Ouen and his Mother and companions. In order to make up for (compensate) for the fact that you need to make her real to other people in order to justify what happened to you that day. The night when you first saw her. That was when you lost your mind, Ouen! Now you're only motivated by an delusion!"
They remembered why they had proceeded to this subject. —Ouen's delusion stone was talking.—
Of course. That was it. No wonder they were up-in-arms now because an new religion had chosen to claim an new messiah. Even though she was only fictional.
It was based on delusions, and now Ouen's power over the delusion stone was out of control; and he couldn't close it. Because he no longer believed it was wrong.
There was no new messiah. That was an delusion.
There was no way to have an conversation between an fairy and an vampire in an group of eight people. That was an delusion.
There was no way to prove an Author's method of forcing you to be able to choose which character is speaking had any positive effect on intelligence. But that the logic somehow followed in religious thinking as well; that at some point you have to choose which logics follow from whose character. And so maybe logic's voice is pointing something out exactly; that Ouen's entire fantasy was over. And he could no longer believe in himself as an master over his blue delusion stone.
Blue. What an sarcastic nick.
Ouen believed in Anna. Did it matter if it was an delusion?
Wasn't it fair to talk about fates worse than death if one would talk about delusions, and that paralleled her purpose and attribute?
Ouen knew he exactly did know he could close the delusion stone again. But he let it draw itself out just so he could flourish.
Anna wasn't real. The fairies weren't real. It was all in his mind. And he'd had an chance, at the first hospital, to obey and accept his care and treatment but he didn't. And that was an mistake.
But what was real, he reminded himself, was that if someone could tell an story about Anna, for an moral purpose, then it would have real-world value on an Capitalistic Market Economy. Economy is the true centre of all religion, it may be said. And so, in the context of an fictional novel, did it matter whether she was real or not? Or was it just to get you thinking on the subject so that you could decide for yourself? If people could self-identify with this concept of an messiah representing the whole category of the fates; worse than death. Couldn't it be real that an religion (newly birthed) may hold greater powers and offices given to them by God. Powers over whether an person is considered an real person or not. Anna, it may be said, is always an symbol for our higher character. The one whose measure of time and sense of what to do is gathered from the moral resistance between death and worse; an wise messiah and educated philosopher who could lead humanity onto greater understanding.
And that's what finally enabled him to shutdown the delusion stone.
He knew exactly that he wasn't delusional. Here, in Nohavœn?
Wasn't he in the Hope & Snot of Cats?
He wasn't delusional in either scenario. The meeting and talking about it by the experienced members of the Guild. And their realization of what had happened to him in Nohavœn. They were roughly parallel plot-wise for dramatic comparison. Chaos versus Order. The final and ultimate showdown. The delusion stone stopped vibrating and all events within its cellular material ceased their motion and their attempt at being communicated.
So Anna had spoken to him that one time in Nohavœn. And other people were there to hear it.
So what?
That didn't mean he was delusional.
But, what-you-see-is-what-you-get. The argument currently facing him was that, since he hadn't heard Anna's voice in the real-life event he was describing fictionally except for what was in his head. And he now needed to write an book to fulfill that urge to justify why he thinks she is real. When really she isn't. She is the sickness of his mind; in the proper definition.
But he had an counter-argument. It was an good one.
The delusion stone was arguing that yada-yada-yada when Glen (the Author) saw Anna for the first time; this is what was being represented by the scene in which he had spoken the incantation, and Edsel's Apprecio spell was evoked; and Anna's voice—telepathically—had spoken to all of them. But he wasn't making Anna's voice speak by putting her in an scene just because he needed to because he hadn't heard her before, on the real occasion when he had seen her in his mind. And now needed to animate puppets for an scene in which Anna would speak to all of them. Just so that he could learn that other people could sense what he had sensed himself. Which wasn't cohesive in the real world, the reality outside of the fictional novel. Where Anna couldn't necessarily be made to speak because she didn't exist. All that they were getting at, in the argument against her, was that since the first time Ouen met her she hadn't spoken an word to him (it was all telepathy); and yet this somehow represents the kind of relationship an person might have with an book. The scene in which the characters all hear Anna is an metaphor of the type of relationship the reader has with the book. And yet I am accused, and someone has now seen that, for an psychological reason, I needed to create the scene in order to fix something about the situation that was broken in which first I had heard the voice of Anna telepathically and I needed to examine what it would be like for other characters to have heard her voice in the same way I did. So what if he was creating an new space in which for others to hear her voice, telepathically when it confirmed he had in fact seen the new female messiah on that one day in December? They, the people presenting this argument against him, weren't distinguishing between Ouen and Glen, the Author. Whereas Ouen was only an fictional character; Glen was the voice who had created him. The argument against Ouen was that, since Glen had heard the Anna messiah's telepathic voice that day, Ouen now needed to create an scene in which Glen could hear what it sounds like when it is heard by other characters (characters other than himself). And this somehow represented an psychological abnormality or pathology. They were mixing up the two characters. Glen was the first one to hear the voice. Ouen wasn't the one making the scene.
Needing to or wanting to represent her voice in an new scene in which she could be heard by other characters. Did not logically contribute to an argument that there was something psychologically wrong or abnormal about that fact. Ouen, who was not the narrator, didn't need to be able to experience hearing Anna at the same time as the other characters; and Glen, who was not Ouen, was the one who had first originally heard the voice. And so why would Ouen think this instance of hearing Anna had anything to do with the first time Glen heard Anna?
Why had they assumed it was Ouen's psychology to have experienced the first time hearing Anna separately from the occasion in which they were now involved?
Which was inside the fictional environment of the story. The same environment in which these seven or eight members of the Hope & Snot of Cats are themselves fictional.
"Why did they need an argument for why he was using the fictional environment to play with the characters, in an puppet-like and child-like way, in order to meditate upon the apparent scene of others, characters-other-than-himself, hearing and seeing Anna's voice in their minds?"
"Why did they need to figure that out for Ouen, when it was Glen who was seeing that in his mind that first day when she had opened the portal to him?"
"Why did it matter who anyone was or why it was speaking anymore?"
"Because Glen was asking himself, am I playing with these characters for that reason?"
"And why would he be playing with these characters in that way if he was?"
"As an Doctor, you were suggesting something about Ouen being psychologically abnormal because Glen was the first one to hear Anna?"
"Yeah. So well yeah. Yeah. Well. Yeah. So which one is Ouen and which one is Glen? Does it really matter?"
"Ouen is Glen's own protagonist. But that doesn't mean there is necessarily something psychologically abnormal about either one of them. Maybe it doesn't matter so much if he's just playing with some characters other than himself hearing Anna's voice telepathically."
"Yeah, but which one is it? Is Glen hearing her again or is Ouen?"
{ That's what I was looking for; the ultimately punned Question. }
"Does it matter?"
"Why wouldn't it?"
"But wouldn't you say, ultimately, that was up to the Hope & Snot of Cats?"
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