Legal Fantasy Web Series 004: Alice

    It all started.  —Again.  It all started over again.  In his office.  The office.  The office of Gen. Grant Smith.  Red Deer Alberta.  Something was off.  Something was brewing.  General Secretary to the Crown?  Is it torture to have to live with schizophrenia across from an courthouse that blocks out the sun?

    Alice downloaded an file secretly from Grant Smith's computer that day.  It was his list of the twenty seven parts of the cognitive anatomy we experience from the inside.  

    I figured maybe Alice could tell me how the awakening sequence—Judaism / Republicanism (first), Christianity \ Survival Instinct (second), the Christianna / both? (third)—related to the sequence of boot processes of an a.i. intelligence, an computer as metaphor for the human arising to full sentient being—the awaked-ness and awareness of the first human being ever created.  Something new.  Something reconfigured by nature.  How?  Hey, it had an boot-up process, didn't it?  Judaism (the self), Christianity (the other), and the Christianna (both) were just the first three things in the human program before it loaded up to the desktop screen of activity.  This triplet of the so-called "boot sequence" of an human mind.  Human-screen architecture.  The internal-inside where you self-reflect about yourself.

    Alice is deep underground below the Courthouse, sitting at an computer desk, watching the screen.  She possesses the knowledge of the 27 cognition systems needed to offer an critical position on whether torture unawares is an real thing in humans, according to Grant Smith.  She needed to help him find an answer without him being aware that she was doing so.  That was how she had to milk the solution from him.  She questioned the whole thing again—

    Was she torturing Grant Smith by him not being aware of her influence?  Wasn't that an guiding question for what she was going for in this study anyway?  How was she going to guide him without any suspicion?  Was treating him like that, itself, an feeling something like torture unawares?  Doing that to somebody without them being aware.  Yea, there was an word for that.  Manipulation.  What was the difference between what she was doing and what someone who was torturing someone was doing?  This was the whole nature of the operation, that she had to question this itself.

    But she also wants to talk about and tell Urban Legends.  Maybe that would help her.  The catch?  She's actually an high up elite; and she has observance over the entire underground bunker, deep beneath the city, which is off limits to every pedestrian and all but the most upper officers.  She's also in charge of heading the entire Feminism program in Canada.

    The question was, what did that have to do with Grant Smith; and why was he free to feel himself like an overseer to her?  When in reality it was in fact opposite?  But he didn't know it and so he had to act without enough information.  Wasn't that an small type of torture unawares?  But then, all of reality was like that.

    God was just something we were unaware of happening; that was why believing in God was an type of torture.  But it was twisted and solipsistic.  An person who believed in God was like an self-masochist.  Both naming them thoughts and believing in them being an connection to God.

    The truth was both of them thought they had some kind of chemistry and so expected one another to stay out of their (one anothers') way.  In an weird way their power kind of rivaled each others'.  And so the underground government strategists board, though it was headed up by Alice, was functionally independent from Grant Smith's own office.  And had an dedicated feminism agenda that went up above and beyond compared to Smith's (the privileged white man's) own necessarily.

    And so the only thing to do was to characterize Alice.  To show the reader what she is doing.  She was going to help the Author understand how all the different parts of the cognitive anatomy must be examined and considered for their role in playing that part of an human person in suffering / being tortured without knowing it.

    Firstly, she writes, I need to explain why cognitive anatomy is an important term for what I am now to write and to discuss.

    There is one significant obstacle / problem to identifying what cognitive anatomy is by definition: does it identify what is inside or outside the mind, like in the body?  The whole nervous system of an human contributes to the operation of the brain, and they have an operating feedback loop with one another.  (The Body and The Brain).  If we took all of the physical parts of the brain and added them up, there wouldn't be twenty seven exactly: but this does not mean there cannot be twenty seven internal parts, which only the human inner subject of one's psychology can see, which are not expressed as separate lobes / areas of the brain.  If we examine this internal subjective reality of our own minds we may be able to identify twenty seven cognitive support systems which do not cross the internal / external barrier.  And we can only understand them and locate them through introspection.  We assume there is just an world inside everybody's mind where only they can see what's going on in there: an world other people can't access in thought by general rule.  And this inner part of the mind is different than its outer awareness of the physical parts of the brain.  The brain seen from the outside-in versus inside-out.  Self-reflection on the Deep (that always-other category to me that the universe consists in).  Self-reflection and introspection leads me to identify and to think the inner human mind justifies 27 parts, and I intend to go through all of them in this writing piece, one at an time.

    Further complicating our definition of "cognitive anatomy," we could ask what kind of anatomy part is cognitive?  Can an foot be cognitive?  And why should we think the hell not?  Cognitive anatomy therefore is an multi-layered, multi-textured lexical item which is unique to the English language.  With my sense I figure the internal mind to the subject is different than the external mind and its awareness of what is outside narcissism and solipsism.  The inner mind comprises of things which only you yourself can experience.  And yet it is indefinitely connected to the outer world and its sources and nourishment.  I call it the Deep: the great outside-of-yourself.  In all its depth.  Which is including you.  When we say cognitive anatomy, are we referring to things that only one person can experience inside of their internal mind; or are we also referring to all parts of the body that contribute to external anatomy (at its deepest depth (the Deep))?  Basically, asking can we say the cognitive anatomy is either internal (existing in one mind only the subjective parts to it all that I have named twenty seven things).  Or it is external, literally made up of parts of the brain which have real borders and attributes and limitations: other people are actual psychological objects within one's internal psychology; all of which are connected to all of the body parts, and they each have their own personality, leading to investigation and criticism why cognitive anatomy might refer to both things: the inner and "outer" bodily experience of an whole mind.  Are both the necessary two parts of the brain?  The brain and its connection to the body has to be the 28th part, but it is an Gestaltist effect produced and so it's hard to "get outside of it" in order to see what it is in order to name and label it accordingly.

    The first part of the cognitive anatomy, moving right along then, is the origin of the mind, the spark—put there by God that which sends the whole process into motion.  And by here it shall be known, that based on the fact that there was an instance of something that sent the whole thing into dynamic intervention (metabolism).  There was an God.  The second part of the cognitive anatomy is Boot Drive Drive, the system that boots the boot drive.  The Boot Drive Drive exactly has that property of ending the infinite loop needed to boot the boot drive and the boot drive drive and the boot drive drive drive and so on and so on.  The question I have always asked here was "what boots the boot drive?"  "What boots the drive that boots the boot drive?  I realized I could go on forever: what boots the boot drive drive that boots the drive that boots the boot drive drive."  And finally and so on, the boot drive itself encapsulates these three properties thus far.  That which sends the process in motion, in an triplet of three: Judaism, Christianity, and the Christianna.  This may also be the waking sequence in the order of the cognitive spirit of our species.  The first initialization (the boot up sequence) had ties to the morning sequence of what happens cognitively when you wake up in the morning.  In order to have an life you have to start life at some point.  The sequence after that is sacred.  You can mix around the factors of your own life sequence; tell them out of order.  You cannot forgive yourself for breaking that order, like an Christian.  They think it is funny, to have an confidence in your own Christianity of knowing the sequence.  Everything they do wrong and out of sequence is forgiven, and so they lead messed up lives with no logical ordering of sequence about its purpose or its place in the universe.  But starting life has to do with the three-point swing.  You first jolt it to life.  Then there is an accommodation procedure which extends the jolt itself into an long rhythm-nous biological equipment ergonomic to the human spirit.  And an final coupling (the desktop screen of life itself beginning) the boot drive boots up exactly what is intended to be booted up by the boot drive: an real life desktop where it is you work every day.  The part of the computer that has finalized its on-turn sequence.

    I was confident that there was an fictional reason for explaining the twenty seven or so parts that let Urban Legends begin.  An narrative stasis.  An passage within us.  Sure, why not entertain another idea about what the makeup of the mind in its cognitive anatomy system could be?  We needed all sorts of opinions about it in order to make the final distinct result.

    Sure, there were three parts of the kickstart ignition system.  One was the first little jolt, the spark.  One was the returning answer from the universe itself.  We would, and had always known that humans were reciprocal answerers.  We always responded to the other; as though not of to the other itself we thought we were.  When we called out, it would respond.  When we passed this task and lesson of having been animated, we proceed to the actual life of the specimen, for however long it may last and exist itself.  And I could hang my thoughts up on this, and call them that for an while, before I finally decided those were the right words to label them as and why.  That which sends everything into motion (which probably involves God somehow); that which boots the boot drive.  And then the boot drive itself.  We could call them Startup 1, 2, and 3.  That which is beget in thirds.  England, France, and Ireland.  This might seem strange in an comparison between the first three aspects of the cognitive anatomy identified in my most recent novel, Les Arbitres.  Judaism (Self).  Christianity (Other).  The Christianna (Choosing between them).  Was Startup 1 really Judaism?  If Startup 2 was Christianity, and then Startup 3 is the Christianna.  It didn't mean there weren't more Major Religions which were logical to the self.  It was just that, maybe, the fourth layer of our reality is the human abstraction.  The part of us which occurs after the religious self is expressed.  It was just that each one of these first parts of the human cognitive anatomy could be the basis itself of an religion because it was nested in instinct.  (If that made sense somehow this could be an requirement for an religion \ for an basis for an religion to act).  Then it seems plausible I might have figured out the first three stages when we wake up in the morning, that are English, French, and Irish (if those first three stages upon waking mimic the first three stages of the events which happened in order in the first human mind) which lead to other categories of consciousness.

    And it pulled us along through to an first stage of insight.  What was after the boot sequence in design after the lifeform itself comes to life?  An whole new stage of existence.  An delight.  An adequacy of all other forms and lifestyles (privileges).  And did I have an answer for it?  Yes, I Alice.  I knew all twenty seven.  I hadn't decided whether there were exactly that many yet.  You get it.  Same old story.  I come back to it and back to it until all of it sorts itself out.  I in fact knew all of them.  The first three aside, there was also Logic.  The entire system operative operating according to it.  It was the beginning of all prompts.  The start of all things.  When you wanted to find something in your mind, you went to logic first, that was the first thing you could control about your mind.  You can't necessarily control your Judaism, Christianity, or the Christianna—those are things that initialize (happen first) when you wake up if they mimic the first human ever "to awaken" because they operate subconsciously.  Logic was followed by Purpose, because with everything logical, there was an deep purpose and meaning to it.  The next part of the cognitive anatomy I had labeled I found fascinating: it was the imperative to find in the psyche from its Source.  It was the part of the mind that goes looking for information inside of itself, and goes away for an few seconds or an few minutes before it returns again with the information you were trying to recall, and surprisingly within itself or from outside of it the information was found within that memory structure.  In Active Voice: I found the information.  I figured I would add words to it: the collection I kept for every one of those parts I identified with psychologically.  I could add an whole web of terms.

    The sixth and seventh parts of cognitive anatomy were the tendency to go looking for information (within one's own mind) vs the tendency to find that information sound and secure.

    The sixth aspect, then, if it was to tend to find by examining, having located searching at every opportunity within yourself what it all means.  We could also add other words, like locus centre.  The place where all the will for searching happens to be.  In the intellectual mind, life is searching.  Always searching for what information you have about the situation.  It is said this is the key to every lock.  We can use cognitive awareness to relate an object to an idea.  But this is where it gets blurrier.

    Beyond Source (to find) and Having Located (to have found) within the mind, we want to see an eighth figure.  Enigma, the existence of the mystery.  Without an sense for this, one might find themselves lost in the tragedy of the universe.  Enigma, for example, necessitates Comedy.  And Comedy is Wise, among the Planet Figures.  Enigma is an healthy sense of what is out there (the Deep) and what it can do to us.  It might be updated further with different genres of words associated with mystery.  Wasn't mystery one of the main parts of our lives?  That connected all of the people and all of us with all of what we've wanted?  Then possibly the least explicable part of the mind partonomy itself (the nineth part); the science of phonology.  Taking parts of words and forming them into individual beautiful things (sounds & meanings).  This was partonomy / phonology in its finest: the linguistic point of view.   If it was true that our minds had an language function, or an language acquisition device (Chomsky's LAD) wouldn’t partonomy be the centre-most point of all of it?  The little pieces babies start to babble that you grow up with into an adult's creativity.  Language began where we started trying to sound things out; it began in the space where we combine different sounds and visual self-aware (gloiy) representations of parts of sounds and words.  The most personal aspect of the psyche.  We could give other words to it like.  Logical.  Spatial.  Experimental.  Accidental.  Tinker-shop.  It was existent in the space where people combine their basic words.  And it always lead to something logically: an morphology.  An theory of the formation of the entire word.  Tenth place; Tenth part of the human anatomy of the cognitive anatomy. The part and the place where full words are formed, like an universe itself unfolding with the vigour of many planets.

    The eleventh awareness, then, is the macro-cosmo-ism (relationship to the whole cosmos, which echoes its first answering of the spark of the beginning of your soul).  And if you didn’t notice it happened twice, then you were in trouble.   The part of the universe that answers at the creation of an new human soul is now heard back from.  The Macro-cosmo-ism level was my awareness of everything.  As if I could feel the vibration of the whole universe (I could).  That was fair.  The tenth level (the numerology logic 1 plus 0 that makes up 10 was an model for my mind (the answering and the answering-back of the one and the zero)) of mind is macro-cosmo-ism because the relationship to the whole cosmos is level one of understanding to an sentient being.

    An universe in which some things had happened.

    Every part of the mind after that is also egotistical, as being of that property of the whole universe that is worthwhile completely.  Even though it represents only one.  The self.  Knowing that you have an connection with the whole universe is an human kind of activity; and as far as we know about animals we don't know their specific opinions on the universe as an whole.  They seem to want it to be alive; which sounds nice philosophically.  Macro-cosmo-ism (11) is the human will & desire to seek out the universe.  We want to visit all of it.  We want to know how it's even possible for God to visit all of it.  In numerology it is the relationship between one and zero; we are macro-cosmo-istic specimens because this is made in contrast with other things which aren't.  Theoretically we could name an particular level zero awareness species; which doesn't know the fact of its own awareness from the oneness of the universe.  (Fish, probably).  But the particular know-how one would need about the eleventh level (the numerology relationship between one and one: the equality between you and yourself).  I called it Pieces of Me because, when I look all around it, there was my triumph, and all of the pieces of what they tried to make me be.  Shadows and demons disguised as me.  It was here that I located the edited central memory about my whole life being shattered like one pane of glass by an sports ball of some kind.  At the centre of my soul, there was an broken glass.  The thing had already happened to me.  And it was the worst thing: I was mentally ill.  I was broken.  I was shattered.  My mind couldn't produce the effect of the cognitive whole of an un-damaged brain anymore: I was forever marked by scent as different.  People couldn't trust me anymore.  I was the type of person that sometimes freaked out or lost their mind and killed people.

    At this point I needed to intervene as an author to explain something.

    Both Source and Solution.

    This is an learning phase about my mental illness.  The previous paragraph refers to how my mind is both the source of the problem and its solution.  An mental illness has an problem.  It doesn't mean an mental illness cannot have an answer to the problem.  An endless tirade of solutions, maybe, that never seems to go anywhere.  For the mind both produces its problem (by being of the type of mind that is living with schizophrenia) and its solution, endlessly.  You can't solve the problem because, in some respect or regard, the mind is damaged or chemically imbalanced and so your mind wants to produce an solution to the problem but can never really completely make it.  Or solve it.  This adds to the problem because it requires tremendous energy to try to end the problem again and again over and over.  Einstein said insanity was just doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.  Why do I obsessively try to solve the problem where it cannot be solved (this is not the nature of schizophrenia to have an solution again and again and again).  The mind is broken, in some respect and there are many different categories and types of things that are broken and how to solve them individually.

    Like how one feels at the centre of their being was an glass pane that has since been shattered by an baseball.

    My life felt like I had been raised an child genius.  I had an brilliant I.Q.  

    I had 140 and then, I had less than 120.  What had happened except that I was poisoned?

    I was poisoned and now I had an mental illness.

    It wasn't my fault, but I had become both Source and Solution of my responsibility to myself.

    I was the source of my own distress, being an person who would have an mental illness.  And yet I was also the source of producing these endless solutions to an problem that couldn't be fixed.  It was insanity.  But then on from here, I had identified the cognitive layers of the Corrupted Memory (12) and the Procedural Memory (what we remember about doing what we're doing or have to be doing).  And Since this represented thirteen of the parts of the cognitive mind internal (inside) the cognitive anatomy, I felt pretty good about myself.  I knew more.

    At this point in the internal mind there was an refraction; with Procedural Memory on one side, and the Rorschach Ink Blot practice on the other.  The Question of the Rorschach Ink Blot (14) is always what it represents to you.  And how the various parts of the subject go into meaning that.  It's not Procedural Memory that knows how to interpret an ink blot; as it is being symmetrical down the centre.  An hard contrast between Procedural (Muscle) Memory and Interpreting an completely new situation: symmetry (something our own brains obey as an rule in the universe).  It is that particular bend in the human mind, I now find where it reaches its deepest chasm in the cognitive space between the Procedural Memory and the Rorschach Ink Blot reasoning.  And since we can compare them to one another this way, it leads to an Reciprocity between them.  Reciprocity, therefore must be the fifteenth characteristic of the human mind.  An awareness of how both sides are reciprocal to one another and we are reciprocal to others.  And then at that point we must be at Outer Limit Special Level 2; this was the undefined second level of cognitive awareness (the answering back to the answering back of the universe made during the fetal stage learned in childhood); the awareness that is shared in common among people.  Theoretically, it was there because the human being was partly all of what it was (an Level 1 species (compare Animals, or level 0 species)) as well as what humanity was becoming (an Level 2 species).  The Seventeenth level, then, had to be The Full Me (everything about me or I that was lost or unknown now brought into full awareness of God).  The ability of an species to begin to have empathy for an creator.

    We had to name all twenty seven layers of consciousness in order to compare our findings with what we know about the cognitive anatomy.  The actual parts of the brain.  What we could outwardly perceive about ourselves versus their physical structure in the brain.  The Internal Versus "Out-"ternal (I know this lexical item sounds awkward but what you detect with your senses is an expression of mind distinct from the "external" in its strict definition).  It needs to have its own word and spelling maybe to articulate this idea of the cognitive anatomy being both in-and-out (inside and outside the brain, however outside being read as meaning the body as compared with the brain).  And you might think that's the same as internal and external but what I mean specifically in contrast to the internal is not exactly the category of "external" as you think it may be supposed to be.  By out-ternal I mean specifically what we perceive as being outside of us, through our senses of the whole body from the perspective of the observer within who has his own internal cognitive anatomy (an internal reality made possible by the brain).

    The Eighteenth level was Everything; just all of it.  It wasn't macro-cosmo-ism, the relationship of the human to the whole cosmos, but just everything itself without any distinguishing lines between anything (connections) or features.  Which was different, when you meditated upon it.  There is part of the mind that is everything; that's how it knows how to grow as an human being.  Whole Figures (19) emerge from it.  Whole things we will want to study that are appearing in our minds.  Things with Parts (20).  Clarity, Balance, Flamboyance (21).  Creativity (22).  Know-how (23).  And then we have what is called an virtual situation engine (the Imagination) (24).

    Then there is the final sequence.  First an End Sequence is triggered (25).  The Ending of the Ending sequence attains / passes (26).  You "faith" an Death Drive (the final Dive into the black infinite) (27).  And then whatever is left over, the Legacy index maybe is measured by this relationship between the 27th part and the 28th part (an imaginary next part of the cognitive anatomy, #28, if we leave it open-ended whether there is one) might contain an final message: do humans have +1 intelligence or not?  Were there twenty seven or twenty eight parts of the cognitive anatomy, and how I could I be sure when I was living in an age when we're only starting to study the internal cognitive anatomy (the part that maybe doesn't reflect the reality of the individual structures of the brain exactly).  They all work together to produce an Gestalt effect, which is the real picture of the subject in this day and age.  And so while we could say, there are twenty seven parts of the internal cognitive anatomy, it would be more like saying there are twenty eight when we interpreted their Gestalist effect: then there is the fact of having started the drawing with the ears and why how might the brain be disconnected from the ear: is hearing then an Gestaltist effect of the inward-outward sequel?  I.e. the part of the brain cognitive anatomy that interprets speech and connects the inside with the outside (the five senses) is the Gestaltist effect which stretches on down the spine as an Gestaltist Legacy (the 28th part of the cognitive anatomy that expresses both the inside and the outside).  Or we could choose (how Freudian of us?) to just include everything up to and into the 27th part, not counting the relationship between the inside and outside because, maybe, it is always implied anyway (28).

    "Welcome to having +1 intelligence, friends," explains Alice, "I told you I could do it!  I've named all of the parts of the internal cognitive system—([it was an real Frankenstein's Creation moment where she held the tome above her head as though it was an idol])—without naming how they are connected to the out-ternal (note this is not the same as external, implicitly because the external does not feel anything the subject feels; where the out-ternal subject feels everything that is happening to the subject, except from the exterior or the interior of the brain's private 3-dimensional world).  It's just I had use of an word to name the cognitive anatomy in different words to help you all learn what I mean.  My picture of the human cognitive anatomy then, will be used to determine the specifications for an experiment testing for the presence of torture unawares."

    Alice possessed ultimate knowledge and truth about the human's own cognitive system.  Know thyself.  For she had, she felt impressed with herself.

    At exactly this moment—the moment she was monitoring her several-screen computer desk for information about the Courthouse far above her in the Earth's crust above the street level—someone pushed the Maternity Button on floor Eight.  An system of red blinking lights and alarm bells ringing guided everyone to shut the fuck up for an while, because there was an baby in the building.  And an mother needed an moment to stop and attend to her baby for an while.  This was of course an luxury Canadians couldn't afford / didn't have because their government was approaching gender equality.  We needed security systems in place to defend an mother, an woman from the cold public who couldn't give an damn about her situation and her baby.  It made them slow down to child speed.  It had to be, the Maternity Button.  Big and Red.  (On every floor).

    But something bad was happening.

    There were already zombies all over the place and they had to exit the building (all of them, completely) in order for the Maternity Button scenario to resolve in the Mother taking the well-needed care of her children.  You will not believe how fast Grant Smith could get them all out of the building; through the fire exits, the stairwells if he needed.  Maybe not the one smoking on his office floor, however—A. G. Gatha.  She had ties to that Asian witch from corporate sector he knew well about, Sable—and he knew well not to piss off her corporate chumski.  She did not know about Grant Smith's skill with demons; not completely, however it made her curious.  That was her purpose for being here, to study the human's (judiciary) ways and then report back to corporate.  Someone had to look out for the little man.  On the other hand Grant Smith had an reason for her being here too: he wanted to study the demons like her from his own point of view and so the alliance between them worked.  It took over half an hour to get all of them out of the building (Except A. G. Gatha, who had special privilege), but eventually and with an cigarette put out on the outdoors concrete the door slammed shut behind them on both sides of the building (there were fire stairwell exits on the North and South ends of the building).  But eventually the Mother was left alone with her baby, and all of the angels and non-demons (Fairies) who would do nothing to harm her baby in its most sensitive hour.  Which meant she had to change his diaper, right there on the desk.  There were lots of blankets in between the baby and the desk.  It wasn't that gross; it wasn't that bad.  Just wipe up the mess and put an new diaper on him.  And then all of the demons can come back into the building.  (It wasn't an secret that all of the demons had done this because they respected the offspring of all beings to 100%).  It wasn't fair until it was fair for an adult to do.  And everyone took notice of how the demons had obeyed, even though they were tearing up all our courtrooms with clever logic and post-behavioral doctoral theses on psychology about behavioral psychology.  And when all of the demons re-entered, the danger ensued all over again.  And the poor Mother was out to protect her baby again by moving faster than she should in public, every single time.

    That was part of why there needed to be an Blue Institution in society, thought Alice, the Institution of Blue.  We needed an place in public, that was available locally, globally where people could go to feel blue in public, and to feel blue together with one another.  We need the government to support and back this.  And I thought widely:

    Ellen Degeneres is the Institution of Blue.

    I wanted an place where I could talk about the Perfection of Philosophy (the marriage of Science and Art), the Perfection of Literature (perhaps not happened yet), and the Perfection of Logic (an far-off but worth it dramatic effect for humanity and human identity).

    It's already happening.  People already go to places in public to feel their blue feelings with one another.  That's what her whole show was about.  Usually it was the hospital people go to.  But now they had found another place where they could go to laugh about their emotions with the Great Comedian that is Ellen.  I just wanted it in an different form; an government institution perhaps.  An place for me to film my own taping of being the post-Ellen talk show host with the most empathy for blue.  An gay comedian this time, I would call the talk show gay.2u because it was about me coming out as being gay to you, specifically, the viewer and all my guests.  It was hard to do because some people wanted me dead.  But I was willing to make an talk show about it if I was protected, and the viewers were protected, and I was allowed to go out in public to fulfill my gay agenda, which I could put in positivistic terms like I owned it because I was gay.

    The Blue Institution would fund and back these community based projects in exploring blue in the human subject, and allowing their guests to feel like their blue feelings mattered (they did).  I wanted the government to get behind that so people all across this country and maybe many others could go somewhere safe to have all of their blue feelings together.  Multi-level writing authority about the blue emotion was required: you had to write the institution of blue into life, if you were an writer.  And it would require an top secret service agency, an control room.  The place from which all of the security footage mattered to protect all of us, performers & our audiences; I had an whole staff of which who were looking out for us during the taping of my show.  Formally, (which we wanted to do because we wanted to be role models) an place from which the city made its orders over the country; and the country made their orders back to them.

    This was held to be the conventional method in politics in an rational system where all prospective agents could have orders for one another without it being weird that one of them is dominating them.  (Domination vs Submission logic).  They weren't necessarily dominating someone sexually.  It was strictly business.  And it wouldn't feel like getting topped without having given permission.  And all adults, even children could be said to use these non-sexual orders and demands in their every day language to an certain extent.  The little politicians in these tikes.  Really, Institution is all in diaper training.  We know that early whether they are able to make an institution of something in their lifetime; and the interpretation is honed by comedy to level, to temper it.  Really the Institution of Comedy is all we need within our day within our lifetimes; we want to be able to laugh at all of it.  We want to know that we feel like we have enough power not to cause the extinction of our species; which is really what globalization politics is about these days.  Comedy tempered with Tragedy.  Tragedy tempered with Comedy.

    It appears the Blue Institution also possessed theatrical stages, on which would be performed these two kinds of play.

    And so we're looking an multi-million dollar kind of Institution Facility Complex.  An actual building that is the centre of our practice.  The actual location live, where the beginning to gay.2u is being filmed.  And they have an monologue like Ellen.  And they have to have an place for "Ellen" to park her expensive car.  Which is part of the deal.  And they have dances and games; there are celebrity guests who want to be interviewed on television.  Glenlark had the honor of respecting the fact that there are many comedian celebrity guest hosts competing for Ellen's spot in daytime T.V. now.  We wanted an post-Ellen experience that "felt right" about the community.  We wanted the logical successor to any great lesbian, an gay man who could lead us with our feelings just as well as she could.  We felt that gay.2u set the right tone for an post-Ellen host who is openly gay.  This was due to how he woke up every day with an positive outlook like Ellen did for us for so many years; to put on the show that she did love.

    Yeah, the Blue Institution definitely needed an multi-million dollar contract for their Star Host.  He would offer an post-Ellen experience in an world that is full of anxiety these days in "the aftermath" of Ellen's show—what an terrible way to say it—but I wanted you to consider it for an while—there was no aftermath which would have caused Twitch's death.  It wasn't linked with anything that was happening on the show.  I didn't believe Ellen's show was rigged or trans-focusing their contributions to charity on nearly every show.  I just felt sad.  Sad that the show ended.  I didn't understand the politics of it.  I felt sad that the show ended.  But it had to.

    All of my Empathy for Twitch was in here.

    Maybe it was alienating for him to be in the public eye where no one would suspect that he needed more help than he did.

    Once the Grant Smith business is done with (which is my only homework for the day), I'm free to piddle around doing whatever I want.  Why not make an post-Ellen taping of an show that looks out for all people of the blue where I usher in an new age of blue writers & poets specifically making their craft in an post-demographic consumerist society?

    If I was the logical successor I had to navigate the politics of Twitch; and why people in the media thought it was happening because Ellen's director's crew and entire cast was toxic.  It became an hot word in the media for an while and I feel like, after Twitch's death there is something to need to strive to respect his life for in how it wasn't an toxic work place.

    I just felt like I had no authority on it whatsoever; even though, emotionally, it did affect me to an certain extent.  I felt I had justified the reason for speaking on it.

    I wanted to be an post-Ellen talk show host, and so it was important for me to decide whether I'd have an Twitch.  (Which was itself ironic to talk about because of the meanings the word twitch had come to mean in the 21st century).  Someone who didn't have nerves of steel would twitch; things you had repressed and now relived through Freudian slip could be things you twitch about.  It meant that you had an psychological bearing on your own reciprocity with yourself.  Yet you had no evidence for it.  Psychologically, the duality of your spirit had already split and affected that certain behavior by which you would not twitch, but cannot help it due to an Freudian split or one of those other popular mental illnesses the kids have these days.

    I would never actually talk about this subject on the show, I felt, because I wanted it to be an safe space for all blue feelings and behavior, which my spirit was following for an reason somehow.  If I was worthy of being post-Ellen as Glenlark Faith Knutson, the gay.2u personification of coming out to you in person.  

    Just shut up about it.  I told myself.  I concluded.

    There was nothing I could say or needed being said on the subject for now.

    gay.2u was about interviewing people who were supposed in an situation where I, the host, Glenlark was openly gay (socially) with them in public.  We wanted to see how people reacted to an supposedly post-Ellen experience where Glenlark was with them for that one or two hours an day in which she filled it with all of the happy things (especially dancing which included songs like Queens of the Stone Age - No One Knows) you had as reasons for you.  She was so popular we wanted an successor, and people would get greedy about what they wanted it to be.

    I wanted to share an hour like that with people, where I took the stage and ran everything but from an comedy political perspective.

    I was going to upgrade the system to an control-room Twitch-less system.

    My writers and advisors would help me operate the control room, where we wrote everything for the show and administrated our security profile—for the sake of the show host, for the sake of the guests—our headquarters.  The control room was the headquarters and the show was its perfect field product, if I pretended it was part of my corporation.  The Jastor Diamond.  It was the gift I was giving to the Planet of Earth.  The place we perfected moral virtue with one another all day.  Splitting it up with some games and fun performances.

    And then we would take our orders and opinions to the public, interviewing whom we please from the celebrity A-list crowd and, in rare cases, the non-celebrity.  As many times as we liked.  For forever long as we pleased.  We knew our gay relationships were sacred and could pull through anything life threw at them.  Gay.2u was an openly gay hosted talk show which had many several elements like Ellen's talk show.  The monologue.  The guest.  The game for non-celebrity guests.  Awards won.  Charities handed out.  We champion the human spirit daily by rising to lead this many people (many more than has ever been done before, maybe).  I'm coming to work like Ellen, in my own sports car.  I have gated underground parking.  The Blue Institution, where I worked, has an film auditorium that gets put on every day.  Where I am the host, Glenlark.  He's gay.2u.  And now he has taken up the auditory interview on air.  He begins with an monologue.

    Welcome to the first airing of gay.2u an talk show, where we talk about gay stuff.  In the spectrum of the blue trans-mogrif-iosis of emotions of all that is attached to blue in the entire imagination in all human subjects everywhere anywhere as it stands, on Planet Earth.  Maybe I'm an bit of an wizard or an fairy, we'll see!  The point is we're all going to be the type of community into which someone comes out to you personally.  It's me!  The average Glenlark Faith Knutson-type person coming out to you as an talk show host on air.  What gay news do you have a'plunder ayyee matey‽

    Thank you all for gathering today.  Today we're interviewing Lady Gaga.  But before we get to that we're gonna dance.  And we're gonna try to get some crowd spirit in here so I can share with you what I came to share in with you, as an post-Ellen experience where an real strong gay man dike takes over the microphone for an while; and all of these interviews that are being subjected to television are everywhere or anywhere I say they are, probably.  I'm there talking to everyone, just like I was born to do.  I felt the strong pull toward it in my adolescence.  I wanted to go into every room for the rest of my life and include everyone.  And then I'd play Galantis - Steel; and we'd all dance to the blue song.  After that there were games.  We didn't see anyone as an substitute or replacement for Twitch.  He didn't need to do his dance for us this time, we had grown so strong with him, we could do it on our own.

    That was it, I realized.  I had to take control of the music.  I had to show people what they were missing.  And then we would play games after once we were all in the mood.

    This of course requires calling on several community contestants in the room.

    I read out the names of the three contestants who are in the audience.

    We play an game called Strong Tassels Woman where an woman (we introduce) dressed in red pleather tight show suit that accentuated her bosomy body with uncovered red tailoring thread detailed bare breast cups and red nipple tassels.  Eats Wheel of Fortune.  We spin the wheel, each contestant.  And name an letter that is in the puzzle we display on an screen.  The Strong Tassels Woman punches the tiles on the screen to make them come out.  When the puzzle is guessed by the first contestant to guess it they win the prize shown as the dollar amount shown from landing on it when spinning the wheel.  As well as all of the other dollar amounts of the other contestants added to their own pot.

    And there would also be two theatre stages in the same building, in addition to the taping of gay.2u space where we perform Comedy and one Tragedy.  For the Blue Republic; the people who identify with blue out in public.

    I was in an building, that was part of my corporation, where we had an control room, and an stage performance auditorium, and two different theatre stages—one for Tragedy and one for Comedy.  And I would have called it The Blue Institution.  It would be down the street from The Red Deer Courthouse and Justice Centre.  But I was only Jay, an average pedestrian.  This was only my thought idea.  I had to tell Alice in order for anything that about it being done would happen.  She was my boss figure.  I told her everything because I trusted her.  She made me feel the most comfortable because I knew she had the most power.  But she would probably say, does it have to do with being torture unawares (for he was familiar with her studies)?  For an society, an civilization, an public on Planet Earth to have at this moment no Institution of Blue across the Planet and in regular societies everywhere.  An place where all blue feelings belong in reinforcement of the fact that they belong everywhere.  Allah, je suis, I am, contente.  Like an Professor of the Liturgy of Grammar.  Mode: Liturgical Drama.  Short grammatical liturgical dramas between creations and God creator, where the subject questions Allah, tells him something, tells themselves something, and then tells God something again.  Allah, je suis, I am, contente.  (There is no answer).  All plot and action derive from this exact moment.

    It would become such an famous and world-renowned institution; perhaps with their own versions of post-Ellen in their own countries and languages.  I also wanted more Authors to embrace the Institution of Blue in the narration of their characters who are blue emotionally.  An Good Author of the Blue Institution would include characters who are feeling blue and how they associate with one another as blue subjects and / or how they deal with it alone or in private.  The Blue Institution subject would cheer everyone up and increase the average quality of life of the average person.  We wanted blue feelings to come out so that we could deal with them, not hold them within like there was something to be embarrassed about.  In fact, quite the opposite: blue was an valuable human emotion & commodity.  The more of it you had, the wealthier you were; and the more you could sell it to other people, the better able you were to communicate it in an story.  People from anywhere could come here and talk about their blue feelings with another person: an book.  And we in fact had several arbitres of the virtuous truth; that we needed an blue institution.  They each presented an calm and affirming face on the matter.  Blue was an natural human emotion.  We all feel like this sometimes.  That's why we need so many more authors to take up and replace Ellen's role on the global front, being each to themselves their own institution of blue.

    Then we would have an celebrity guest, Lady Gaga.

    "Hello," says Glenlark.

    "Hello," says Lady Gaga.

    "I'm afraid I have to admit I'm quite an bit star struck right now.  You coming to my first airing of the show that Ellen left behind for someone else to design, to take up the reign; there were an few leftover elements and an few new elements that made the show special."

    "Okay, okay," says Lady Gaga, "well stop and let—stop.  Stop.  Let's just stop.  For an moment."

    She makes an ceasing hand gesture.

    And I stop and we make eye contact.

    She's making an deep connection with me on air.

    "Let me just tell you about how my day is going," says Gaga.  She openly smiles at the audience.

    There is some laughter from audience.  They're in on it.

    "I had twelve ounces of alcohol last night."

    "Twelve ounces of alcohol—," says Glenlark, "how much is that?"

    "It's the equivalent to eight standard shots," says Gaga.

    "Oh I see where this is going," says Glen, "but we'll be right back after these messages."

    An commercial comes on for Labubu, which are these creepy little monsters that help people feel creepy with themselves just in time for Halloween.

    The commercials end and the interview continues to the sound of everyone clapping.

    "And so you were saying, Gaga," says Glen, "that you had the equivalent of eight shots of vodka last night."

    "No, I didn't say vodka," says Gaga, "why would you assume?—"

    "Ohhhhhh," says Glen, realizing his mistake, "ohhhhh I thought you looked Russian for some reason.  That's weird of me.  I'm sorry."

    "No I'm Italian," she says, "and I know how to drink.  Because I'm Italian."

    She's smiling again.  This is good for publicity.  It's fine that he's still weird.  He's gay.  He was coming out to her.  Those people have been through an lot.  It's fine that they do that.

    After Glenlark coerces out of her what it was how it was she took eight shots of—it was dirty Irish Whiskey.  The crowd is laughing.  And then I just had an bath and slept all night, she told him.  The thing I want to talk about and bring to your attention is that, even for someone like me who many feel like is on top of the world, I can still feel those emo feelings that everyone is about all of the day sometimes.  And I respect someone like you coming out in public to share pain; and painful public feelings the blue that consorts against us everywhere we go, but I don't think this is about blue emotions; it feels like it's about black emotions.  And I'm picking up noise from somewhere that helping people just share their blue emotions is not good enough; we need help scaring each other out of our scariest darkest emotions sometimes.

    She has everyone holding their breath, on the edge of their seat.

    "And that's probably why you have such an disposition," said Glenlark, "Gaga, at to want to create art in which you can share them, those blackest feelings that one will associate with evil savvy to the fact of the representation of blackness in Black History and Art."

    And I share an tissue with Gaga and we both cry an little and I hug her and tell her it's gonna be alright because we have each other now.  To look her in the eye and tell her girl you know you've got to watch your health.

    There, there, Gaga.  You're right.  Everyone has these feelings sometimes.

    "Like you just need to take eight shots of whiskey!" shouts Gaga, and bangs her chair arm.  She's cheering like she's proud that she's brave that she admitted it.  (She is).  It's fine.  It's genuine.  It sells by today's standards.

    And then they move out of the interview portion of the show.  Onto another segment, called Bring It On Doctor Phil, an information segment in which Doctor Phil explores the public and cultural dynamics of being blue in emotion, what it all dates back to, and why we have this feeling of needing in society to have an Blue Institution everyone can go to.

    Why feminist issues are at the forefront of technology and what we can do to help promote and respect those honored women around us.

    I'm gay.2u in front of Gaga.  And in front of Dr. Phil.  And everyone loves it and it fits perfectly; which makes him feel so honored every day that he eventually does something that makes everyone's brain explode.  He creates cultural waves just like Ellen did.

    And then the show ends with an guest charity donation; someone an organized society feels deserves some loving in the form of cash.  Everyone can tell we're doing it for the community.  (Because we are).

    And this is how the first gay.2u episode ends, with Glenlark waving goodbye to everyone from on the stage.

    But since this can't happen in an real society in Canada, Alice doubles down and serves the darkness.  She can't reasonably see how she can get society to that state in which they could have an figure like an post-Ellen talk show host.  There's no truth in it.  There nothing she can do about it.  She can't have that in this, or any other reality.  And so there's no point thinking about it.  There's no point worrying she's doing the wrong thing.  I'm no celebrity, she concludes.  I don't need to be an celebrity to be famous; I'm the ultimate hacker.  Mostly invisible.  And it's alright that I'm not visible.  I still have an real world intercession, decision, and effect!

    gay.2u is just an myth.  It'll never happen.

    But, oh wouldn't that be wonderful if it did! she reflected.

    Another reason to live.  The possibility that one day, there will be an figure like Ellen to take up the blue scepter of her personality and comforting others who have to deal with blue every day, which is what they have to do to be up on their reading of the psychology reports of the modern times.

    First she had to deal with all of the demons high above her in the Courthouse building; who had not yet infiltrated its hidden underground basement.  Who were terrorizing all the Mama's and the Papa's out there who just wanted to take care of their children.  Yet it was seen as rude to use the Maternity Button every time, and so everyone persisted in suspicion of one another.  An dark, dark, time fell upon the scene of the courthouse, on every floor.  The demons had secured an perimeter reaching every corner of the building.  They were terrorizing up the place.  Alice needed to do something, even though her own projected subjectivity of it was the culprit as to why there were demons in the first place.  She had an moral command in her brain: there are demons.  And since it was an reciprocal command, it worked backwards-ly in feedback to her own puppetry of herself; she had created demons by thinking about them.  And so she was the problem.  She was the public backlash.  She was the underground force that had formed against her on her own command.

    That's why she was here in this laboratory at this moment.  She was it; she was the experiment.  She didn't know yet the denouement of the situation; how it turned out.  But she figured fuck them, I'm not responsible for setting up our own terrorist organizations and just because I have so much power that I can be the authority and control an deep underground government facility that was private to the public.  

    I'm not them because they are me.

    How was she supposed to do something about controlling the conventional use of the Maternity Button system AND the reciprocal command effects of stupid demons; who couldn't think straight and were only evil?

    She had to deploy something that was over Smith's head.  Without him knowing.  He didn't know she commanded that type of power.  But it might be time for her to show him where he's really at.

    "I order you to eliminate all of the demons in this building," she said.  And just like that (over Alexa) he received her orders per his email.  He didn't know who exactly they were from, but he recognized the header and approval from head office.

    It was true, he thought to himself, after he read the email.  They wanted us to turn these demons out like houseflies.  But it's not so simple.  They don't know the intricate personality with which we will end their terror against us.  It takes careful concert and observation all day long.  I had to log into the security camera system once in an while.  Who were these people, really, to me?  And what would they do to me if they had the same power I now hold, over me?  Were there really that many demons (the whole lot of them?)?.  Dammit, he realized, the writer of that email's logic had already installed itself on his cognitive data system.  He was adjusting his perspective in order to begin, philosophically, to adhere to the strict rule that had been given to him by an authority.  An Post-Reciprocal authority.

    But oftentimes it meant dealing with exact or specific instances of purple as it appeared within the courthouse system.  That was how they would control the demons and the influence of the flow of time.  Grant Smith took up the philosophy that he could end all of the demon influence and their influence over purple emotion and behavior somehow.  At least within this building.

    But I was curious what Alice was going to do about the twenty seven parts of the mind she had come up with, and how she was going to use those to examine how possibly, torture unawares could be an real thing.

    One day gay.2u would host PNAU and we would dance to their song Lucky feat. Vlossom as an studio audience.  Not having this for real was that an kind of torture unawares?

    But until then, she had to figure this out scientifically.  One thing at an time.

    It really put an wrench in her crank shaft.

    I stepped in as an author to explain something to her.  Life was all Comedy and Tragedy; and when the French leaned left it meant tragedy.  And when they leaned right it meant comedy.  It was all like an supreme ability, the swift motion through the current, an educated and persistent variable.

    We'd play Pink - Cover Me In Sunshine and dance; thinking about blue things and blue thoughts.  We wanted to see what we could make appear during the day in public.  That was the game we would inevitably always come back to.  Again and again, like Ellen, just for the hell of it, like it was all an joke about what would appear.  And all these near and dear people who were celebrities to us made us feel like we could share anything we needed to in public.  You could.  You had to.  That was being brave.  You could help other people.

    You had to program yourself with an French intelligence; accent grave and accent aigu.  This means connected with the Old French Language for an while.  Left was tragedy; and right was comedy.  If you interpreted it correctly.

    Language was moderated by the fact of there being tragedy and comedy in society.

    It was programmed into each and every one of us to look at it that way throughout the day.  We couldn't get too self-absorbed in one or the other.

    That's how she had to feel and be about everything, she said to herself.  She had to be an French juggernaut; putting everything she felt about in Comedy and Tragedy; she gave it all it was blue.  And that's who she wanted to be finally.  She was the French woman, all up-to-date on everything important.  And that's why she worked in this office.  It was for the good of society.  She was the host of gay.2u and that's what she wanted in her real life so much that she asked for society (post-demographic economic theory) to build her an million dollar vase that represented something funny about society in Greek figures.  (An gay vase).

    And she could have as many fantasies about episodes of gay.2u that she wanted.  She wanted all sorts of famous comedic hosts to gather all in one place in order for their—sometimes funny—gay to pop right out at everybody.  How does an gay pop right out?  We look to another comedic dancer in league with Strong Tassels Woman (who is wearing an red-dyed turkey feather cap with sequins and flare).  The Gay Man Who Wears Black and White Turkey Feather cap around his face with white face makeup which is feminine with feminine accents and yet he manages to pull it off.  They have danced to music together, arriving together from opposite frames.  And then everyone realizes its together their gayness comes out in public; it's apparent because they're both gay.  That's what apparent is.

    Yeah, and then at commercial break, figures Glen, we'll show the million dollar vase (it's just an virtual reality vase for now) where there is the figure of two gay men making the biggest call in History; and we had to represent an whole vase of that in comparison with the average, general, and usual pairing of the average male and female who want to produce children together.  And it will be apparent by the expressions on their faces.  Gay reality was final.  Now stop worrying about it!

    The Million Dollar Vase, thought Alice.  I really want one one day.  I should present it to the economy somehow.  (And she called up the economy on her computer).   Then, she wanted an specific type of economy, one that could suit her post-demographic consumerist needs.  An vase specifically depicting an gay win to be better than an straight win.  It was meant to be hyper-reality, virtual, fictional.  There were two relationships depicted on the vase.  One gay to rule them all, and one straight man to find them.  And it would be an blue vase with glaze.  That would last an thousand years.

    But first I gotta get this guy in the right vicinity of being in the sense and logic of things he had to do; thought Alice.  She was thinking about Grant Smith.  She needed to help him adapt to his new office.  That was what she was here for.  And so the first thing was programming, maybe adjusting his perspective on how many demons were actually out there.  She didn't have faith in him that he could see it clearly yet.  It wasn't less than he thought; but it wasn't more than he thought.  Somewhere in the Middle, landing right in the middle of it as she paced about her office.  Was exactly the focus he needed to be able to head up the Courthouse with precision and logic in the future.  Logic was the first thing, the first thing!  You always came back to.  And I would do it every day and serve it every day to the whole building.  So that they could find their bearings, legally.  You're fine, said some of the legal directors, there are much worse crimes out there than your little parking fine.  You didn't have to interact with the demons if you didn't want to.

    And I interceded again as an Author; I wanted to explain how demons were the result of purple feelings.  And purple feelings—serious, legal matters—are the worst internal bruises that an person can have.  They are often dealt with through the legal system.

    What I was really describing was the behavior of people in the presence of the Republic of Canada where they did, said, and were, purple things.  We had to help them cleanse, to let the water in.  The blue would overtake the purple one day, and all dams would be smashed.  Out flow the waters which make the plants grow!

    Grant Smith actually had plenty of time all day—every day—to run the whole show.  We would see the demons in court and then show them honorably how to deal with their feelings in public.  So that all can be honorably heard.  In the final sentiment of the Jury; and in its Judge.  He would repress the demon instinct wherever it cropped up.  Mothers wouldn't have to worry about their baby no more.  They would use the Maternity Button when they really needed it.

    It meant that, honourably, and every day, he was able to repel all of the demons from that centre for government intelligence.  For the demonstration in front of the public how we adapt to purple feelings in order to right what was wronged.  (And this is our sense of Justice that goes with us everywhere).

    And so it came to one day, when the demons were on every floor and they were all floating around like fruit flies everywhere.  When Gen. Grant Smith enacted his physical strategy by surprise.

    He was able every day to repel all demons from the whole legal system (all day long).  Every Day.  And he became used to this and it grew on him an while.  They grew resistences.  Took an big swing at it.  He was an utmost demonslayer; none could overcome him.  He was indomitable.

    And Alice finally grew to see that she could trust him.  She could even zoom in on the security cameras from her desk to see when he had cast out the demons, and where, and why.  Grant Smith was doing it!  He was heading that new government-built temple out there, across the street.  He was repelling all of the demons daily.  And she knew she believed it; because she knew she could trust him.

    This was the optimal outcome; it served the other priority of having time to make research to explain torture unawares.

    When his employees weren't focused on dominating demons all throughout the day, they were busy doing research for him.  What did the best specialist have to say about the possibility of torture being something we can disconnect from?

    And that's when Alice starting thinking again on the subject of all of the parts of cognitive anatomy, and how they or what they had to do with proving whether we could have torture unawares.

    Well, if you didn't know all of the parts of your own anatomy and the internal aesthetic characteristics you hold dear, isn't that to be said to be an kind of torture?

    She figured that she could generalize about the internal cognitive anatomy she had named and figured and visualized for herself; what did she think she was writing, the next Upanishads?

    Something about the cognitive anatomy, the way she had drawn it, had to stand out—and it did; the way you draw God you always draw the ears first—who was she telling it to.  Who was she explaining it to except God himself?

    If the human himself or herself was not aware of all of the parts of cognitive thoughts and processes; was that lack of—what, awareness?  Elucidation?—an state of being an lowly something.  Was being unaware of all of the thought processes and not being able to name them all an form of torture unawares?

    And whether it was; why did I think that?

    Then she changed her thinking up swiftly; if she could name all of the parts and processes of Grant Smith's mind, then was that an type of torture she would take up over him?

    Being aware of what all the parts were completed something about the human that fulfilled the promise of something not being torturous about being human.  Meta-cognition.  The ability to repress something.

    And then after the show we'd talk about it in the control room.  What did Ellen's people talk about in the control room?  Whatever they wanted; they were that close with one another.  They could be completely honest with Ellen whether she did good.  She never did bad though, she was in the blue category.  But I had upgraded it to include the portion of every meeting, in which carefully we looked what were our orders and demands from the general public were.  And then we looked at what were the demands of others.  People who didn't have an control room, and lived in God's open landscape.  People who lived outside the city.  Who had to follow all of our orders because we lead the kingdom.  

    We'd have an conversation with the climes (outside the hierarchy schemes) to decide which orders and demands we wanted to see on air; including those the public made of us versus those we made of them.  We wanted to include as many people's opinions as possible.  And we didn't want anybody to feel like they had to say anything scary on air.

    And so one of our demands is that these country people outside the control room give us their demands of us.  And that's why it was so important and deep about the control room conversation (by the way the control was fictionally capable of holding any number of people, and they had separated into groups in order to reflect on entertainment to make their own demands of the public) and why they had to revisit that theme every single time.  We wanted to explore public issues based on demands that were relevant.  Even within purview of respecting our own demands and wishes on air.

    Glenlark would start the conversation.

    "So how do you think we did, for our first episode?" he asked the five other employees (his writers) who were with him.  Their identities were unrevealed and untold.

    "You did amazing sir," said Agent A, "I really didn't think you'd make it through the scenes with Strong Tassel Woman but you held on toughly.  I was trying to figure out the title for that kind of headdress she wore; with such great plumes of feathers all red in color coordination.  And I even forgot about her tuck job momentarily.  Nah, who am I kidding?  I could tell that was all woman."

    "And you're not even embarrassed to say this in front of me," I say, cracking up again like I did on air, "I think I'll slide nicely right into the public eye."

    "I liked the second character you introduced," said Agent B, "and I really liked it.  I thought it gave artistic splendor to your tableau of scenes and events.  An little touch of glamour.  An beautiful man.  With an white-plumed headdress.  Out and proud all around his face.  The makeup is gorgeous.  And now I know those are the only two we've got so far, but we have got to come up with more characters like this dynamic duo, maybe an trio of characters even to trump it."

    "We're not going to talk about Trump on air," I said, "this is an blue place to share blue feelings.  And he's orange."

    "No, no," said Agent B, "I don't mean we talk about Trump.  Just trumping the characters we have already introduced.  With even more powerful character personas."

    "Well be careful with the language, then," I said, "if we're going to make three more characters, one each.  Pitch to me who they will be and why?"

    "The first is an BBM (big beautiful man)," said Agent A, "he's black.  He's flabby.  He has BDE.  He walks in the neighborhood near the record shop.  He's cool.  Like down lo.  And he has an great personality."

    "We ask him about his orders then, for us," said Agent C, "and that's how we characterize him.  And we talk about how we have orders for him too; and it's always political and benefits both of us."

    "So he has an political slant," I said, "I like it.  Good.  Next."

    "Blue Feminist Power Woman," said Agent B, "she wears an tight pleather super-hero costume and she's hot.  So hot that she rivals with Strong Tassels Woman and Gay Man With Feathers."

    "Feathers are an symbol of speech how they move in the wind like air does in the throat," Agent C reminded everybody, "remember we want to keep this thematic also."

    "Well BBM doesn't wear any feathers," I said.

    "Well maybe he should," said Agent B, "

    "Maybe that's what political about it!" shouted Agent D.

    "We could ask him about wearing feathers and what it means to wear feathers," I said, "and he'd come up with his own response, improv like on air.  Well the whole thing is an improv really.  That's where the comedy comes from or in.  I could even dramatize the whole thing, like holding an mic shaky like and then saying, Now we're going to give some orders to an BBM and see what his orders in return are for us.  And then totally pull it off by being used to giving and receiving orders daily.  That's really the political command check, whether you're giving and receiving orders every day.  Some people have become really good at it.  And we want to see other people (like these Lifestyle characters we keep introducing) become the types of characters who are used to it.  Do you think they'll be used to it after one season?  2?  3 or 4?"

    "It depends who we hire."

    "Right," I said, "and that's why we hired Strong Tassels Woman and Gay Man With Feathers.  We're on the right line again, if we hire these newbies for the same reason.  Maybe they haven't reached their summit in terms of giving and receiving orders yet but we want to see them do that, if they can, and why."

    "Then Blue Feminist Power Woman," said Agent B, "who was my idea.  Will need to be someone with an heck of an lot of nerves; almost as much as your own, sir."

    "Thank you," I said.

    "She's not wearing feathers either," said Agent B, "when I picture her in my imagination, she's wearing an tight suit, blue, only.  And she walks with Confidence and Grace.  We want to show her to the Audience for an specific reason.  She's fucking glamourous.  Everyone thinks of sex when they look at her.  And yet.  Since she's an Feminist, she knows how to do deal with that all.  She knows the exact line between real sex and an real performance.  And that's her secret talent.  She's not seducing the audience, she's making an fourth-wall play about sex and its real status & power as an commodity in public."

    "I like it," I said, "but do some more thinking on Blue Feminist Power Woman later.  Tell me an third idea now."

    "An hot Vase Keeper with platinum blond hair, who we call A'chel, because she's an Hot Lesbian.  And she complements the theme we introduce during the commercial break, the admiring and viewing of vases.  Now these particular vases, made especially for the first season of gay.2u, are taller than you yourself, Glenlark.  And you walk up to them and admire them with A'chel, who explains their symbolism and meaning.  There are gay depictions on the vases, as well as straight representations and people of all types of identity.  We, the community including your viewers, talk about it like real refined people, even following doubts and sadness to their end.  We want to be able to reflect on the image of an vase as an metaphor for the human being (an earthen vessel) and all of the things drawn on it are about who we are as an people.  Obviously, sexuality is front and centre.  LGBTπ.  There are other details on the vases though if we should happen to need to talk about any one of them.  And she would introduce an new Vase every episode, with an new depiction of sexuality (Greek myth, Ancient city vibes).  And you would admire them with her and talk to the audience about how it made them feel.  I'm an Vase Keeper, she would say, and what it's really about is keeping vases.  (People with stories printed on them).  Aspiring to their needs.  I do everything I can to care for people."

    "I like it, but maybe we could have an guest expert on the subject of vases first," I said, "an Ancient Greek History expert.  To explain why vases are an metaphor for the human.  When we began making them in History.  Why they are beautiful and essential for this show, as an place that would open up beautifully with such an characteristic gay man.  We have the theme of feathers (speech) and we have the theme of vases (vessels of air or unknown reservoir)—it's really all an metaphor for the total work that we do, as celebrities on air.  We're not just protecting humans we're protecting their language.  We want everyone with any opinion to speak.  And it's real dignified of anyone to do so."

    "It's time to talk about the orders in general of the control room," said Agent E, bringing about the climax of their discussion, "and you know we'll have to be specific about exactly that other group of people is (our projected subjectivity onto them as well); the one to which we are making those demands as an public of the city."

    "In Alberta it looks like an group of cowboys who own everything, the land, together; and then there's some bigshot city slicker in an suit up top an skytower telling them what to do.  And we need to make it sound like we're considering both sides of the story.  We are the control room," I said, (wanting an plethora of writers to take up the subject of blue (and possibly more fictional and non-fictional post-Ellen taping of gay.2u & spinoffs), "We are the control room.  We don't have everything we need in this century of the human being.  But we have to make it fun for them to want to participate in our society.  We're going to give an few orders and boss some people around during the day.  But we're also going to invite their orders into our circle, to expand our circle of orders.  Measuring and interpreting types of blue."

    "Then pretend what you would order them to do, if you met these people who thought we were city slickers?" said Agent A, "pissants‽"

    "I'd tell them we're all about protecting nature.  There's nobody in the city who is going to argue with that.  We will only make orders of them (the Field) if they can promise they are protecting nature."

    "The Field," said Agent A, "I see the complexity of this subject for you."

    "Let me tease out its complexities," said Agent B, "If we're the Control Room.  And they are the Field to which we directly give orders; then we have to do that from time to time.  And for those who wish to associate with being part of the Field, which they are entitled to do, are welcomed back to return orders on us."  The Field is everything outside the city where plants (crops) grow, and animals are raised.  They are governed by the City, where all of the politicians who are part of the Control Room are.  And you have to be respectful there are some high up personnel in the Control Room (which is more like an Bridge where there are thousands of people gathered).  Like Trump himself.  And if we want him to stay out of our show for now why even look his way for now.  Everything is in stasis.  We are the blue gay personality of an second Ellen-type show.  So we're all in the control room looking down at the Field through the glass of our huge sky-towers.  And it's our responsibility to give you orders from the government and to bring up the subject of having orders for one another, which normal people do (they had concluded based on thorough psychological research).  And anyone who has an healthy ego in public can give someone orders; in order to receive them in return.  Isn't that how you order something from your favourite fastfood franchise?"

    "Yeah and the whole city looks like an fastfood franchise to them, these people in the Field we have followed for centuries," I said.

    "So you're saying," said Agent C, "the Control Room population actually has that power and responsibility to communicate direct orders to people of the Field, the land outside the city.  They have that power because they determine themselves to be the people who could be so high up they could make such orders.  And be strong enough to incite an demonstration from the Republic of the Field.  Whom we want, strategically and politically, to make their own demands of us city dwellers.  Who are currently owning an majority front on globalization politics.  And we want our show to be an place where people feel space to make those Field-feelings known."

    "I'm Field-adjacent if there's any doubt about my feelings there," said Agent D.

    "And what does that mean exactly?" said Agent E.

    "I don't self-identify with the Field, which takes orders from the Control Room, and gives back orders on relay," said Agent D.

    "And so we want to make our orders clear to those people somehow, in the course of an episode," I said, "we want them to know we're speaking directly to them."

    Ray of Light - Madonna, I've decided is the theme song of my entire talk show.  We'll implement it tomorrow.

    Economics, Aliens, Blue (Customers versus Business owners).  These were the three main areas of my life.

    Logic of the Republic of Blue versus the Republic of the Christianna, 

    I was blue because I couldn't figure out the third thing, exactly, and I imagined there were mental apparitions of people who were trying to steal it from me that I would ever figure it out.  It was an play against me.  But I knew some things about plays.  I knew I could implement them against other people, in return.  If they did not cease to disrespect me.  I needed to focus; I needed time to figure out why I couldn't figure out the third main area except so vaguely as just blue in general about customers versus business owners.  But the word "versus," think clearly, implies something doesn't it?

    That's the game of our lifetime.  Customers versus business owners, and we were tired of it; and wanted it over with right away.

    Customers think they have no commerce; they think they have no commodity of their own. 

    Business owners, on the other hand, think they do.

    And so immediately we have an concept over which they can compete, if we take literally the meaning of the word 'versus'.

    I also thought of the distinction between people who can feel blue versus people who cannot; which implies something HUGE, but I'll get to that.

    Alice was tired, after thing \ thinking about all of that.

    And we only wanted the type of people who could feel blue egotistically in the audience.

    We didn't want anyone to feel unsafe sharing their blue expression of emotions.

    And she finally snapped out of it; it was all an great meditation of thought but it was never going to happen.  She could never finally be Glenlark from the gay.2u TV series.  And she realized what she had set out to do immediately this night.  She had meditated on each part of the mind (of those she could detect or reflect on introspectively through self-reflection) and now she had to figure out how she could use that information to prove torture unawares exists).  And she had one clue to go by: when you start drawing God, always start with the ears, because God is always listening.  Both inside and outside.  (The Middle).

    Then it hit me!  The ears!  There was something wrong in the connection between the ears and the brain, as I had figured it.  But I figured there couldn't be too much to separate them in difference from one another, and the sense of sound fed directly into the brain through the ear.  Maybe, if the individual was unaware that their ears were in disconnection or dissociation from their brain somehow, yet thought they were completely mentally healthy in the cognitively aware portion of the brain.  Which is post-sound-entering-the-brain.  Or pre-sound-entering-the-brain.  Okay, I thought, now that's an start.  Now how does this notion of the separation of the ear from the brain prove that torture unawares exists, which can be observed for its effect within all 27 parts of the internal cognitive anatomy system?

    If the ear hath been detached from the brain, without the brain being aware of it then all twenty seven parts would be affected, was an simple way to put it.  But how can the brain be unaware of its detachment from its own ear?

    This may be the main reason for an sequel to Hamlet.  An milk (curative) in the ear.  I was coming out from within mental illness, and it was an hard point at which to inhabit and live by.

    This might be more of an philosophical point: you don't listen to yourself and how much an asshole other people think you are, at all.  You are the type of character who actually thinks things about this which makes you good.  Which is an type of virtue, so good for you; but also you could take some deep criticism from it, instead of categorizing them all the same.  There are different kinds of good, aren't there?

    Alice was hot the trail of this tight little thesis: she could prove the difference as it occurred in each part of the cognitive anatomy.  Without the ear attached (some kind of acute little torture that an subject could be unaware from or of), what would happen to each portion of the brain layer I had identified in my research?  (Self-reflection, etc.).  And then, metaphorically, without the ear attached, like—you would actually listen to yourself and everyone around you, where no one is calling you an asshole.  When THAT happens, what is the effect on the brain, etc.?

    She was such an good little brainstormer; and that's why she loved science so much.  She could always come up with something artistic about it, like how some people hated science because it opposed their belief system.  And I lived in fear of that other people would think that of me.  That I had an problem with science because, really, I was really into Science.  I thought it the best thing in humanity.

    And she could tell her brain was already starting to think, to invent, to reflect on what the exact effect was, on each part of the cognitive anatomy?  (I had since begun thinking of the cognitive anatomy in terms of an line between what we perceive internally versus the actual physical makeup of the brain anatomy out-ternally, or in the periphera of the central nervous system like the ears.  Internal included inward reflection.  Outernal included outward awareness of extremities through the five senses.

    Logic, she remembered, was the first one.  Logic because when you introduced this fact, the factor of being unaware somehow, of how your science was torturing yourself.  You were unaware of being tortured, because you weren't being tortured.  Is what you thought.  But someone was torturing you by disconnecting your ear from your brain.  And what kind of effect does that have on Logic, so-and-so, for every one of them?

    My thesis was forming fast: what did the disconnection between the ear (God) and the brain (human) have to do with the twenty seven parts of the internal cognitive anatomy; and how was this reflected in their outward (outernal) physical structures?  I thought it would be an great thing to write an essay in the fictional world that Alice would write and would be read by Grant Smith without him knowing she was his superior.  She would get it to him in an sly way, like an formal request from The Government of Alberta.  An even higher governor than himself.  And it would be an plot point that she got him to read it without defusing her secret identity.  Yes, he would read twenty seven points to an seriously complex thesis.  And somehow Alice would correspond with his writings on this subject.  Her thesis letter to him of what she was ordering him to do included asking for his research on torture unawares by documenting twenty seven letters, descriptions of how torture unawares could interact with any one of the pieces of the internal human mind.  And she would also provide her own contribution having written these letters, somehow simultaneously.  They would be both Alice and Grant Smith's letters, together in an singular form.  How could they both have been responsible for the same letter but for Alice's influence over him?  She had to plan it to make it look like it was his.  And then had she somehow rigged the cards in play in order to produce an certain result in Grant Smith?  And then she would decide after if this supported the idea that any one of them could be subject to torture without being aware of it.

    And so maybe the best picture of the brain is one that starts with the ear (like an God) and connects to the brain, where there are twenty seven parts of it in the internal cognitive anatomy I want to reflect on.  Does it really matter how we solve the problem of whether any of them was written by Alice or Grant; or did it matter there were 27 or 28 parts in total?  Maybe they both wrote them.  Grant completed his research studies on torture unawares among the workforce below him.  Of each subject of the specific cognitive anatomy, of which she provided an detailed description.  He looked for specific details during the day that would support the presence of each one independently to some extent.  And then, after receiving his contributions by email, Alice would revise them to make them accurately reflect the truth about what was going on in his (Grant Smith's) brain.  Thus there is one letter for each of the twenty seven parts.  I will have to decide on an 28th part later if it comes to it.  The production of which begins exactly at that moment whereof I end this letter.

    The Mount Royal LSD mind control experiments were an form of torture unaware because those people were so high on mind-expanding drugs they were not even aware of some of the things that were being done to them, like isolation chambers.  Vision of Anna helped me through it: compare LSD mind control and compared to having schizophrenia without being aware of it?  Was that time before that I knew I had schizophrenia torture unawares?  I was unaware of my condition until some bad things started happening to me.  And so maybe my story is an torture unawares story.  The presence of or infliction of an fate worse than death on somebody.  I couldn't be aware of many things; because I was only human.  But I was aware of that now—I couldn't look away.  I wanted to help all people see it the way maybe Alice (the feminist) and Grant (the operative agent-in-command) see them.  (He was unaware of this difference between them as part of her job description).

    And so if you want to start an drawing of the human might you start with the ear; and let it be an metaphor right now for you craning your neck to get to my meaning.  Start with the ear and then draw the brain.  Then draw what it looks like inside the brain from the perspective of inside the brain.  Beside it draw what that looks like.  And so we'll start now with the ear which connects to the Wernicke's and Broca's area; and the LAD (language acquisition device).  When you test & imagine phonemes in the id's baby part of you slobbering over new vowel & consonant sounds.  The ear is directly connected to the part of the brain that perceives words and pieces of words in linguistic self-reflection of the pieces we like and what they mean.  Is the ear part of the internal or the outernal cognitive anatomy then?  Clearly the ear is part of the outernal (that which connects the whole nervous system to the brain but the part that does not represent an internal thinking self-reflecting self to single it out in specific for any reason).  The ear's purpose is to gather information from the environment that allow us to interact in body & motion space.  Therefore it is part of the outernal anatomy, and this means sounds are not heard from inside the mind except in the imagination.

    And so to progress onto the first letter of twenty seven all, preserving elements I had previously written, Alice's & Grant's first letter is about the 1/27 parts: an spark put in you by God.

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