A letter to God and Angels

The Gay Letters, Sept. 28, 2020

1

Dear God & Angels,

This is what I know

(Of God)

Levels of God: Certainty/Uncertainty, Fate, Destiny, Time, Extinction, Resurrection, Morality, Mortality, Godden (i.e. 'gotten')

(Of Angels)

Logic, Balance

(Of Man)

I am a Great Spirit, God

my virtues are known through my character

Pride, a first love of the self

Acceptance, total inclusion of all of reality in your thoughts and prayers

Dignity, the acceptance that comes with knowing that you accept it 

Knowledge, all of reality cannot be known

Gratitude, with dignity comes knowledge

Religion, there are no rules to religion!  If religion has rules then it is the state

Peace, the craft of true religion

These are the first things I must consider.

And so I begin by explaining the genre of writing I'm going to write.  And after that, I'm going to explain the order the first, the second, and the third that I have written above.

First, the genre of writing is a letter to God in the style of St. Augustine's Confessions.  However, there will be a slight difference because the letters will also be written to Angels.

O God, thank you for Miley Cyrus her music is truly inspirational.  Dear Angels, she is the only country music I would ever listen to.  Thank you for Ellen she really makes my day.  Thank you for Lady Gaga.

And at the beginning God I have marked certainty and uncertainty because this is where we must always start with ourselves for we do not know the future insofar as we estimate what it will not be like;

When a chain is linked by a fashion of bracelet that can slip off the hand when it unclasps, we say it is uncertain when it will unclasp.  But since we are certain it will stay on the wrist for some amount of time, we say it is certain but not when.  That difference is how I must start to meditate on my relationship with God because for God it is always certain that we will unclasp, for we know not how it works or what it would have to do with us and that is how God gives us free will.

And so, since to want to know where to start is to know not where to start except start where you are.  For example, I was listening to Miley Cyrus, Ellen, and Lady Gaga.  I wish there was a MMORPG called Lady of Gaga that would be awesome.

And I'd get funky into it.

Uncertainty and Certainty are how you start the analysis.

Fate is death-stream.  Destiny is life-stream.

Time always takes its time.

Extinction is the loss of species (even our own).

Resurrection is the recovery of that species.

Morality is what you do because of Mortality, which is life or death.

Godden is that which will be had of these elements.

Angels of Godden balance, please reveal to me its logic.  A letter to God and Angels is its form.  Its grammar is its logic.

Please help us humans because we end up with fate and sometimes it is worse than death.  Let us achieve our destinies.  We know it takes time.  We know we can make mistakes, or be true heroes.  But we are mortal and moral Godden of our accomplishments in such a difficult game you have blessed us of all life of humanity.

2

Dear God & Angels,

What would I say to an angel that I would not say to God?  This is what I know

(Of God)

I am not God.

(Of Angels)

I am not God.

(Of Man)

I am not God.

Today I've been thinking about creation and people as created by a loving God.  I think Jesus was a man only and not a God.  But he was Christ the messiah, a high priest, nonetheless.

My concept of God is Christiannan, however because I believe in the second messiah (Christ 2) Anna whose fate was worse than Jesus the fate worse than death and the death-fate we learn through our messiahs.

Thank you for these messiahs, O God for they have given me wisdom of the fates and life worse than death.  I feel responsible for distributing the religion and it has given me much to do.  The Christianna, when I picture it in my mind has a particular fashion sense.  But I am creating the Christianna from humble beginnings and writing about it on my blog I hope you will consider my writing a 'fashion' sense.

Thank you for this faith.  For you have blessed me.  I have mental arms of steel and an armrest for typing for telling all of you of God and Angels.

I pray to God and I eat my crackers and I just think to myself, Miley Cyrus, why have you made me into a country fan?  Oh my gosh.

So Pride is a first love I have said.  Pride is the love that you feel love for yourself first because you are proud of yourself.

Thank you for this Godden wisdom.

3

Dear God & Angels,

What would I say to an angel that I would not say to God?  This is what I know

(Of God)

They (angels) are not God.

(Of Angels)

We are a metaphor (3).

(Of Man)

I am not God.

O God of Three Angels I live in a small world, but I am free in my mind because you have taught me with some of the wisest teachers.  That imagination has cultivated in me I hope that my wisdom can do appreciation to them because it is the fruit of their labors that I live in a small world too.  I joke of this, of course.  Treasures in Heaven and on Earth, let me be your treasure on Earth.  I am a diamond.  I will explain all of my facets.  In my mind, God is playful.  As a religious writer it is my job to interpret God, Angels, and Man.  If God is playful, what do you think Angels consider as playful?  And men design themselves after this.

Notes about anger

The Gay Letters, Sept. 28, 2020

Why do I suffer so greatly,

if God has a purpose for my life?

It is said

We learn Great Lessons by suffering

because we learn how to prevent it from happening to others

My Great Lesson

is that gay children need greater inclusion in society

when I went into the closet

I hid away my voice on the baseball bench

because it was gay

Being in a competition as a gay was like an oxymoron

Gays were the lowest status

because they were dominated

into submission, and submitted into accepting

their homosexual feelings.

That type of submission, meant homosexuality

It was labeled as an abusive attitude,

homosexuality was, because it meant you accepted you were sexually inferior to abusive dominant men—

like a shard of glass in my heart

subhuman

But when I came home I read and wrote and dreamt about becoming an author.

How did I grow up into such a negative conversation?

and then I thought, what if they're right?

So I went to university and studied it in the closet

I changed my religious beliefs several times

And now I have started my own religion

I'm so mad at Christianity

they almost made me a lifer you know how bad things would have been

if I stayed

I might have stayed in the closet my whole life

a fate worse than death

Just let me go

I am after the new messiah

1-wing

The Gay Letters, Sept. 23, 2020

How does an angel with one wing fly?

The twirling miracle,

1 is a scientific and spiritual category:

individual existence

What is an angel's sexuality?

Such a question to consider

of one being of singularity and yet in sexuality plural.

Let's talk of one as a whole

and say that we are not all part of this whole

because we are separate consciousness

And we know the Guardian of 1

We are guarded, protected by

is why we can be one thing:

it is necessary for life, to be one thing

If you were not one thing

what would you be?

You could not change into another thing

without dying

and you could not be both at once

And if you were one less than one you would be nothing

That's why the whole is greater than the parts of which it is comprised

If you were only not all the parts you would not be the whole.

That is why 0 is its opposite

and no other number can be the opposite of zero.

What is not always 0 is not always 1, however,

and so 1 has this property of being connected to all of the other (positive) numbers

because they are all greater than zero.

That means there are many 1's and each individual is one because of the scientific and spiritual phenomena exists that I like to call Angel 1 and that Angel has Angel 0 to thank for being exactly its opposite.  They exist in agreement as opposites according to Angel 2, the Angel of Agreement.

The Submarine Cross

It rose from the water,

a submarine of extravagant proportions.

The shape of a cross.

Ocean Water dripped down from the sides of it

until it's wet face shone blue

and its fathoms drew in the sunlight it's saphire depth

It was gigantic.

The waters churning aglow

"Your soul is like a song,

Anna said, "I want to feel that Christiannan feeling

That to do that I need the life of the female Water of Birth,

the Ocean"

The submarine cross was a symbol of things you would go onto the cross for such as being inferior to others (under C level) but as a symbol of the female Water of Birth the fate worse than death, it is said, cannot be worse than for women who can be impregnated.

Alien rapists in your womb.  Think about it.

But I'm here to communicate a message about what being 'submarine' can mean.  Anyone who feels inferior can be said to be submarine cross.  And when they surface we will be waiting.  Also since gay men do not have the Water of Birth yet, they in another sense are submarine.

What a Christiannan does

The Gay Letters, Sept. 21, 2020

What does a Christiannan do?

I pray about something to write about

God

No Rules Christianna time

Christianna business

then I write,

"I can sense light in music,

I can follow through the dark

Everywhere I went

was to make my mark."

A Christiannan's mark is to perform the Christiannan faith in everyday life.

A Christiannan writes poetry and distributes letters, for example.

We follow Anna Christ and Jesus Christ.

Judging what is better than a fate worse than death, Christiannans are similar to Christians but they do not suffer themselves the fate worse than death.  They balance what they are willing to die for against what they are willing to live a fate worse than death for.

Many Christians already do that and it is the plague of my generation that people think they do not.

I was raised Christian.  I think Christianity should dissolve, however, because the Christianna talks about Christ in a way that makes sense.  There needs to be a greater emphasis on Anna, the fate worse than death because there is a Balance between Jesus and Anna that we need to follow.  Instead of Christianity.  The Fate Worse Than Death is subjective, and so it can be about fashion, icons, humour, anything about which you have a subjective opinion.  In addition, if you feel you do not have a fate worse than death then you do not.

Christiannans generate conversations around virtues and create space for opinions, voices, and performances.  Culture is an agreeable fashion for Christiannans.  If a culture has an agreeable fashion may it be Christiannan.

Canvas Poetry

Ver stream, 0001

"There it is

I release my highest would

it is my highest

one yet

I think it is to-do with Balance"

"What is it?"

"How much you would do to help someone when you feel in your mirror neurons and your imagination at the same time there must be balance here because how you interact with someone and how much you care about someone—I stop there because I need to emphasize they do."

Guarded by Nomu,

green are his armor good it's not of silver,

but he has been swimming in the Neptunian

delicate of my vampiric desire

little scum plants that grow like gelly in water and glow in direct sunlight as light as ink on the other side of paper.  They are beautiful.  Rainbow color.  I call it the color ver.

Ver means green truth.  Interpret that as you will.  Some suggestions are Money, Environmentalism, and Young.  When these gather in the chain and connections of jewellry pieces of his armour

I give him a new reciprocity and he gives me a new reciprocity.

Now that my highest would is released let me refine it

so that there is nothing to be paranoid about,

Ver is like a new color except it is every color seen through my lens.  And it means green truth because green guarded by Nomu green is also the color of weakness.

"When you are botched:

My beautiful ver stream

Deeper than

man, the Glen,

a Neanderthal"

A Vision appeared to him of conversation:

"What is your highest would?"

"Would you do this?  Would you do that?"

"How would you decide?"

It is noticed that the word 'would' appears on the First Gay Letter, an explanatory lyric about Anna.  It describes Anna as the internal, private messiah, the second Christ.  And it is a very peculiar usage because it is 'would beam' as if to say a 'wood beam'.

My highest would, when I consider Anna and Christ, is to be played like a fiddle until Christ comes back to save me.  That's how stupid I really am.  But since I recognize it and I put forward to you my own interpretation of religion the Christianna (because we say nah to Christianity) I ask that you forgive me.

Glen: "Disaster

this is true gay poetry

I am a gamer

What kind of story do I want to tell?

Gay

That's better

There is a middle to your male attraction and I will find it

On the trail by the ocean,

I searched my deepest eyes

the eyes of my children whose

near the cliffs and salt sea water

And asks my God for the clover

to mutate them . . . into fairies and radio flies

And he responded, "Horseradish."

And the children spoke and

aplenty growing on the trail cliffs, adore, and chose a true reciprocity

as you would an herb on the super market shelf."

Ver(stream)sion

Ver,

a long time ago,

a man lost his mind.

He is still around but

in somewhat different format

this time.

He anchored his Soul

and harbored his Bower

multiplied in infinite power

God's lost his mind

and God's his soul

Spirit that beauty

Unexplored in relationship

with Love we can only go so far

for new and better things need to come

And we worry that they are not around us forming

but we feel their presencelessness

and know a spiritual world

in which things live without a presence

the Virtues of Angels

the Virtues of God

When we expect our virtues left

we have one less

one more

A nah

 The Gay Letters, Sept. 19, 2020

there is a powerful lesson

in A nah

We call her Anna

looked over

worthless

unconvincing

meanless, judgeless

ugly

only a portion of her soul lives in my spirit because I cannot accept the whole thing

and it is a thing

Not a subjective

dysfunctional

person

For what we call Anna,

is why she is A nah

A new reciprocity with her I desire

to believe in her conscience

to love her moral character

to know her personality

and to save her from the fate worse than death.

The Gay Letters, Sept. 19, 2020

You live in my spirit because you have life as a human,

and our species mimics according to the mirror neurons.

We are connected to each other by this.

That is why I like to say the spirit is a plurality

and the soul is a singularity;

Our spirit is lifted by our connection to one another.

My soul is lifted by my connection to myself/itself

I always have an opinion of objectification for that reason

What it needs and what I get are at odds

And so I am separated from it

like an object

a Nah.

Learning to juggle three clown noses for Glen

His Holy Clown

because the Clown always Trumps Holiness.

Yes I am speaking to you,

His fabulous, Hakon Borgen

citizen of the Internet and Outer Space.

Also known as Glen

His three clown noses are Green, Purple, and Blue.  Christiannan Blue is the color of his religion.  Purple is the color of his soul.  And Green is the color of his spirit.  In the spirit of his religion he donns the blue clown nose.

"Like Peace and New Religions better than Christianity, Dude," he was reported saying.

"For ver

is the deepest healing color green that I know of,

needed for recovering from emotional hurt.  You learn brotherhood so deep with people like you.  My ver nose I will wear when I feel hurt in order to recover as a gay woman.

Then I'll wear blue when I am gay in a religious sense because it is so deep and fascinating like the ocean; community is.  Creating Community is the purpose of the Christianna.

And I'll wear purple if I

am gay

Get in touch with my feminine side and ask what all these clowns I put on—Why they are all male.

As a woman, clowning is an important part of growing up.  Mothers clown with their children to teach them how to move and entertain themselves.  And since my emotional habit lately has been of not entertaining myself I see that to evoke greater emphasis on being able to entertain myself out of boredom I will write that I feel this as a woman and a woman wants what a woman wants but I can entertain myself as a woman or a man.

Women clown too, though.

They are absolutely satanic at it.

Get in touch with my feminine side and I see that women clown too.  But when I clown as a woman I arrive on skates.  The ground type not the ice type.  Wearing a dress of blue and orange but more plausible will it have been that I wore a sweater that was the key to my entire character as a man.  A clown sweater.

What kind of man clowns?

Let's find out more.

Purple Nose, Blue Nose, Green Nose, what is this activity of clown noses?

I actually wear clown noses at the privacy of my own home.  It's not sexual, if you're into that type of thing, it's a healing clown kind of thing.  When I wear a green clown nose I am ver, that energy of healing green that I harnessed in the cave of dragon rookery.  Long Story.  When I wear purple I am deeper than Red.  I am healthy.  And Purple is not necessarily fat.  And when I wear Blue I can feel as fat as I want to.  Or skinny, with a self-created religion fit for the 21-st Century.  My Secret Identity as a Closeted Clown made it especially difficult, having thereof the personality type of a clown but not being able to express it because it is gay and politically I am free to express it not long ago and so I am free to express it spiritually.

As you see that Middle

I graciously accept your challenge to entertain you.

I am Green, so I am slow.  Like plants I am slow.  Ent-like.

But my timing is perfect.

A Green Nose!

It's not just any Green Nose it's a Clown Green Nose.

What's a Clown Green?

"The colour of green a clown wears."

But I wear orange mostly, and some red and yellow.  With green, blue, and purple noses.  I'm a knight-dragon rookery Clown of Real Threat Versus Fantasy Enabled because Knights have Real Threats and Dragon Rookeries Don't.

When I go outside, Real Threats but I come home, Dragon Rookery.

My personality is emerging.

Clown-style.

So Mr. Anderson, which pill will you choose, the blue nose, the green nose, or the purple nose?

Being a Christiannan is my number 1 priority so I choose Blue.  I am a follower of Anna, the worse-than-death messiah.  She's out there but we don't know how bad it is.   So read into that what you will.

When I am depressed I put my purple clown nose on to remind myself that I'm gay.  I probably look like a purple clown to some people anyway.  But I am a yellow leprechaun kind of pants style with the purple clown nose.  Clearly a dancing-for-children entertainer.  You're never too young to learn your gays and q's..

"This is how I juggle my identity I guess," Green goes on, "I am going to remove my clown nose for a moment to show you the instant of clown mimicry as I put it back on.  There is a middle between clowning and not clowning green I guess.  Respect mine, if you can.  Please be careful.  There are Blue and Purple emotions and Clowning is a worshipped ideal.  And Worshipped Ideals are the opposite of Clowning in some cultures."

New Canvas to Write On

So I started a canvas that I wrote on and I realized I'm no painter.  I wish I was.  But I'm a writer.

the first thing to write on your canvas is God

Then the Angels.

Then draw Man,

Heaven,

and Earth.

Then put the order of Genesis 1010103

The Christianna

God businness

• what rules do I follow: Be peaceful to one another.
• Surrender to God (how—stop resisting, what—I let God order me around like a child, where—here, why—because God is the ruler of reality, when—right now)
• Love everyone (when you follow that, everything seems simple because other rules don't seem to come to you)
• There are other rules
• I need to learn them
• I have time

Christianna Business

• Learn the order of canvas as an artist

Realize we are human.  Prone to error, disciplined, using prone to error as discipline by twisting it to mean inflict harm.  Vampires.  Werewolves.  Worse.

Draw your virtues.

Many eclipse my heart.

That I recognize them is a virtue in itself.

At that moment when I mean middle-most not to inflict harm.

And this will be known as my virtue,

Virtual Reality.

B.C.i.i. (instance instance)

And then I come back to Anna—and my purpose as a Christiannan.

It's about not causing a fate worse than death.

We must protect one another because we gather without rules for a religious fate

Destiny is the life where fate is the death, and they are unlike each other in this way

in their emphasis on either life or death.

My Destiny is to be a writer, and I want to share with you that imaginative power

as a writer—B.C.i.i.:

to have of two instances that are separate from each other

between Jesus and Anna;

Because when I stand next to you in public I feel like you prepared for this like you are your own separate instance and then I realize that we are all instance instance each other because we grew up with instances meaning we are instances of each other through mimicry and so the question becomes how well do we communicate our instances, so that other people are aware of them and can help.  This includes instances about them, the mimicry mirror-neurons in our brains say, because those instances are exactly about them and if I see them clearly I am about them too, and we think like this all the time.  It is hard but you can find method to it.  Many are with tradition in order to see it clearly.

Maybe I should make a tradition that . . .

but I think away from tradition and want to become advanced as fuck

From Tradition grows Bounty, and from Bounty I am this non-realist

For that is my deepest fathom that I survive the Bounty of realists,

for if they can have Bounty (They can't have Bounty), then let them speak of it without saying anything.  We don't want to hear.

I am in Heaven because I do want to hear the message coming out of my heart.

It says, "be. do. think. act."

and my five senses are regaialed by music of further entertainment than Beyond!

if there are other senses one of them has got to be Time, the Sense of Time,

and since we are in different instances, we have a different sense of time.

Because we are always twisting and turning in response to time.  Whereas others may dance in their own way.

And the artist in me says, "this is how I share that Christiannan feeling in my gut that says my soul is whole, and since it is in recovery may experience exceptional Logic $ Fashion."

Fall Fashion in Canada Logically,

sisters.

For we need to gather as women and experience the Christiannan beauty revealing his light the color of his Imagination

Why Satan is an angel

Satan is an Angel, yes, the zero-winged angel, Satan.

Why have we made this mistake to call him a devil?  Humanity thought Satan was evil at some point in history and it stuck with us.  Why?

In Christiannan philosophy Satan is 0, the zero-winged.  And this exactly is or is not the primary angelic state of any being or thing because that thing is so complicated that it needs something to exist that contrasts it in order for it to exist.

This is why we say the opposite of zero is one.  When we say one is God, or God is one, and we recognize that Satan is not that oneness but that nothingness, from which all of creation has incorporated for if the cup is not there then there is no cup (it is nothing).

In comparison, when the cup is there then it is there because Satan is exactly not the oneness unique of its existance.

Yes, we have much to thank Satan for.

If you are a worrier, familiarize yourself with this Angel because he flies even with zero wings—and that is a metaphor for having a mind cognizant of nothingness.

Yes, even the zen philosophers ask us to contemplate nothingness.

Poems about Satan

Satan 001

I went to Satan's hard-drive;

I picked up his computer

And when I went to power down,

a battery of malic acid in my mouth I drowned

Satan 002

He's always there,

don't you care?

"Nothing," said the subject of my analys-is faire

an addled mind before me lair 

but there was nobody there

to hear what had been said.

Satan 003

I guess that's a good thing sometimes,

that there is nobody mortal to hear.

But God hears everything and is immortal like the Angels,

because if is nobody to hear there is nothing

nothing needs saying

Why do I always feel

the opposite?

I am that opposite

because at some point the devil

will fall

and it will be me that helped it stop 

because the devil is mortal in me

Satan 004

I saw a little humanity

blaming the devil,

and I laughed because,

the devil is actually my first Angel.

If you overcome him,

you are of wholeness one,

But he will always be

for others to overcome.

Satan 005

Appointed Ambassador,

when Satan gives nothing he is nothing,

and God is still One

and that's why we get chances

to be better than him-un'—

maybe that is my upbringing

because we do not need to be better than him

and that is why God made him for us.

Humanity got it partly right

by calling him a devil

but they missed the fact that he was still an Angel

Remember the value of nothing does not mean do not remember the value of anything,

it means nothing has a value and for that reason having nothing and, if you are

able to articulate this in your thoughts, being satisfied with its moral value, is a virtue because you can exactly have not of what other fates would trouble you with.  Good for you!  You probably carved out a good path!

Imagine that this Angel of Nothing (0) meets God (1) and think of all the glory of heaven that God owns to be exactly the opposite of what the Devil owns other than his personality and character.

Everything-you-believe-

is-nothing-character

Everything you hate is

not

When I'm contemplating Satan.

"Not when I'm contemplating Satan" Time, a good time to add to your schedule every day because children are born knowing nothing about how we actually tore down an angel and made him our civilisation's bitch.

What a complex manouvre would that be fun or like go how?

I'm going to wear a clown nose in the privacy of my home because I am a clown personality type.  I have three clown noses.  One is Green, for healing.  One is Blue, for the Christianna.  And one is Purple—because we love—for homosexuality.  Yup, I'm a homosexual clown.  And I'm very gentle.  I learned my healing magic possibly from a story I learned in World of Warcraft.  When I wear it I am Green with the Healing Lesson of Plants.  Okay, I will put the Purple one on,

these, these

are some intense thoughts.

Being a gay clown,

it's hard to be in your head;

I am beat up by my own thoughts until I energize a fantasy worth working toward.

If you were a gay clown where would you perform?  I would perform at an exhibit of personality types that are genetic in our species claiming that clowns and priests are genetic personality types which is to be observed in how they are the opposite of one another.

Clowns are funny about everything.  Priests are not funny about anything.  They try to be, but it always fails because our species is intelligent.

That is why I am a Christiannan, that I know how my priests are men and women one day and I want to perfect their morality.  Then they will feel better.

But me, I am a clown—if I could start a religion I would need to be a priest—that's why I know so much about priests; you see, there is a genetic series programmed in our DNA and they have to be in order which means that there is a first, a second, a third, etc. And the order exists despite or in spite of Satan.  That's the Miracle of Life.  And so if we use our top-down reasoning these differences in our DNA could have an influence on the character mode of personalities that we nominate to be in every day life.  Can we register these personality types according to archetypes?

(1) the Brute (warrior), (2) the prismatically opposed helper, (3) A Hufflepuff student, (4) Intelligence as a character, (5) Drama as a personality, (6) Clown, (7) Priest

1: "I am a Warrior.  Strong and Pure.  My strength comes from my knowledge of the truth that will be the strength of my sword when I pluck the radio flies from his or her eyes that he has anacifies (inflicts the fate worse than death (Anna's Resurrection from the fate worse than death))"

2: "You know radio flies are a fantasy character you made up and it doesn't add to the logic of your statement."

3: "Yes it does."

4: "How?"

5: "They are fantasy.  I talk in fantasy because not true."

6: "So what you're saying is not true?"

7: "What I'm saying is true that's why I have to say it that way."

But why would they be in that sequence?

Anyway now you may understand why I say I am a gay clown.  Would I perform at an exhibit?  Instead I perform through writing.  And I am gay, yes.  And I am a clown.

My noses help me get into Character.

It is specifically the relationship between Character and Personality that fascinates me.  Personality is like how you somehow got one over on your someone else who didn't.  Character, though, is abiding force that runs rampant in our lives.  We play through character.  We put away play through Personality.  And when we sleep we dream of the stars.

"Well I would want to be in a religion started by a clown."

"You know clowns are sometimes evil.  I heard about one who went to clown school and graduated."

Satan 006

Thinking in stories

as a plurality,

I see characters that refer to other characters.

And since characters are genetic, everyone has one!

And everyone knows one—a Priest and a Clown.  It changes everything.

How should we treat each other?  How should the plurality treat each other?  If he's a clown over there we can't go calling stupid people clowns.  Some of them are smart people.

But is personality genetic?

Personality is religious.

Imagine religion as the centre point in a scale ranging from Order to Chaos.  The scale ranges from litigation to war.  Religion has no rules, whereas God's influence is created through rules with him/her/it.  That's how serious it is.  Truly this is a divine existence that we have no rules time within our religion blessing the Christianna for helping me see that no rules is the foundation of religion.  It is seen that way because Satan is an Angel.

I feel a strong connection with God Satan once cried,

thou art!  thou art a scholar! In explicit gratitude; God knell

For what had been wrought came to be by chance

And scooped up so in a folding arm layer of supernal power

He held us until our sight adjusted on another item and for all of our items it would be that one, as Satan danced about the room, with the old bit of magic in it.

Dealing with paranoia and religious attitude

In Windows, Imogen Heap was playing on that same motherboard of Glen's.

She's so beautiful, Glen was thinking.

Imogen Heap was thinking the same thing.

He was sure of it.

She went back to his Christianna, in no rules time, because it was peaceful.

He thought about music, prayer, and dance.

He danced.  He prayed.  He sang.

Could not always shake the feeling of paranoia.  Except when he did it was not steadfast; it was intermittent, changing.

"It is not paranoia.  It is inaction," he said to himself.

He had confused himself again.

"It may be inaction, but, if I am not paranoid I am not 'action'; that doesn't make any sense.

We don't train actors not to be paranoid.  We train them to be actors.  If they need to be paranoid then they can be.

But again I am off topic," he said, "I am less paranoid when I am not up to inaction.

It is not so bad.  I count my blessings.  I have a new refrigerator and a new oven.  I have a painty loveseat from my grandparents, a carpentry decorated desk from my parents, a squishy futon from my brother, and the cozy lamp; that is my own.

Almost everyone I meet is nice to me.  A tragedy befell me, when I became disabled, but if that fate had not befallen me I would not have met the many wonderful people that I did.  They would not have given so many wonderful gifts.  They come bearing spiritual gifts, and so it appears I have more internal gifts than external.    But I love the things that I have.  I decorated my apartment like the ocean.  From Mr. Michelle and Voodoo I have the gift of friendship itself.  I have the crystal the straight-drag-queen character gave me.  I have the book of drawings of Mortal Kombat characters from a man of community.

I often think about the people I love.  I feel love for all mankind.  Including all of those suffering the fate worse than death.

Anna is the internal messiah.  Jesus, the external messiah, was up on the cross for all to see in public.  Anna, by contrast, is the private sufferer whose pain we may never understand.  We may never be aware of it.  That is why Anna came to me on Dec. 13, 2014.  God introduced me to her because God could see that I was suffering.  He/She wanted to give me a purpose in life."

A Bowl of Soup for Glen

The black hat he put beside him on the futon.  Glen was listening to the pot boiling on the stove.  He stood up and walked over to it.  He set the timer.  He measured coffee and started the machine.  He sat on the loveseat and thought about his family.  He had time to wait.

Love Island was on television.  With the two screens in front of him, his computer was stationed at YouTube.

Coffee poured, soup off the stove, he sat down to relax.

His Christianna was full.

Why a religious author is necessarily a story teller

 The Gay Letters, Sept. 17, 2020

I feel that I produce, think in stories because I am a religious author.  I have been trying to write stories for years.  When I sat down tonight, I started writing a story.  It went.  He is trying to start a new religion but there are many stupid ideas about what religion is about such as the notion that something being about being about something is a story.

It's like a story we tell ourselves about God, that being about being about something is the nature of God.

But then I realized I am a religious author because I write that and a religious author must tell stories.  Why is a religious author necessarily a story teller?

A religious author must tell stories because the lessons that we learn in a segment of time (a story) are from God, Angels, and Man.

The idea that a lesson being from Man and not of God shows us our real responsibility in life.

Mine is to give you a lesson from Man.

There is a new religion called the Christianna.  I am a Christiannan.  We follow Anna, the second messiah because she suffers the fate worse than death.  We follow God, because God makes rules.  We follow religion because religion doesn't.

Angels that decide to help you

The Gay Letters, Sept. 14, 2020

themes: Christianna, decisions, happiness, the Middle, love

combine positive insight with these themes and Angels

"I have never been in love."

"What is the Middle?"

An story by Glen Knutson

How many Angels can you calculate?

Angels by Number

0 the Angel of Nothing (the zero-winged, angel without wings)

Satan

1 the Angel of Numeracy (the one-winged)

the 1-winged Angel of Numeracy . . . Now think of God as one . . . they say one is the loneliest number

"If you know what one is, you know what numeracy is.  Good for you."

2 the Angel of Agreement (the two-winged)

For two things to exist theologically/scientifically they must be in agreement at some level.  The level of reality.

3 the Angel of Metaphor (the three-winged)

As the relationship between two points relates to an third we have three points however two of them are in relation to themselves and the third is in relation to both of them . . .

an good way to think of this is as two bubbles cross they create an third surface which is the comparison between what is of the first one and what is of the second one.  The Metaphor is the connection between both of them.

4 the Angel of Metonymy (the four-winged)

Think of the field created by four points.  Every point agrees with the field.

For example,

There were several letters across the table in the den.  You could call it Angelic (four of them might create an field between all of them).

The table in the den has an field over it because it is an flat surface with four points and the several letters are called 'Angelic' because they are not quite as easy to understand as you might think of as Angelic which is the metonym itself and opens up this paradox about narration, that what we think about as Angelic is subjective.  How were the letters Angelic?  How weren't they?

A field is the marked space between four points in time and space.

Can an field be three-dimensional?

No.

If an field had three dimensions it would be an net.

An shape with an middle and marked space between four points can only be a shape without an middle.  A field.

Conclusion, an field does not have a middle because it can only be an shape without an middle (if it had field shape in two dimensions and began to be an shape in three dimensions which is not an field it is an form with depth.

And so metonymy, another name for Angel 4, is when one point in an field is said to be all of them because they can each replace each other exactly and maintain the space of the field.

If the four points replace each other then the fifth point is in relation to that possession by which four points do not or do replace each other exactly forming an depth.

5 the Angel of Depth (the five-winged)

However you cannot have a depth without an fifth point which is in relation to the field because if you imagine you have four points related to an fifth: the net that is created is of its third dimension because it comprises an middle and an extremity.  When four points create an field and an fifth point agrees with the four points which may or may not be replacing each other exactly then you have an net in which Logic can form an shape in three dimensions.

6 the Seraphim, Angel of Animation (the six-winged)

Modulation of this dimension of the array, its shape, or its extremity result in animation.  Four points create an field.  Five points create a net.  Six point modulates the relationship between the field and the net.  Animation may be also the generation of its own space with which to move (Fibonacci effect).

When form begins to move on its own it is an sixth factor which animates it.  The Angel of that sixth factor is the Angel of Animation.

7 the Angel of Seven (the seven-Balance, Harmony, Spectacle, Creation, Destruction, Form, Logic-winged)

I mentioned previously that Logic can form an shape in three dimensions because to have logic you must have design and to have design you must have logic.  With Logic comes form, the self-evident nature of objects.  And the material space they disintegrate into is Destruction.  Creation is its opposite, which brings Spectacle (for to be an form of intelligence one needs an scene to watch or observe).  With Spectacle comes Harmony of the elements that go into seeing the Spectacle of existence before you.  And with Harmony comes Balance.

An animation must have balance in order to move and so Seven is the Angel of Balance.  Balance always has an order and the order is reversible because it balances in the middle from Balance to Harmony, from Harmony to Spectacle, from Spectacle to Creation, from Creation to Destruction, from Destruction to Form, and from Form to Logic.

In addition, Seven is the Angel of the first seven angels.  The Seven Levels of Heaven.  Numeracy, Agreement, Metaphor, Metonymy, Depth, Animation, and Balance have agreement with the seven levels of Balance.

7 Balance, Numeracy

6 Harmony, Agreement

5 Spectacle, Metaphor

4 Creation, Metonymy

3 Destruction, Depth

2 Form, Animation

1 Logic, Balance

8 the Angel of Fertile Reproduction of the Solar System and its Children (the eight-winged)

Animate life reproduces (plants are animate life they are just really slow)

New Life

Such like you all rhyme together

9 the Angel of Sex (the nine-winged)

Leprechauns:

"How d' ya get an 10?  You add one!"

10 the Angel of Leadership (the ten-winged) : an one and an zero together : one is more valuable than zero and so it leads the command over zero.  And this is held to be another way (an lense) to look at reality.  

Angel of Sentient Life (1) responsibility over Animal Life (0), existence (10)

11 the Angel of Work/Equality (the eleven-winged)

Relationship between one another at work (1 and 1=equal)

12 the Angel of Superiority (the twelve-winged)

Relationship between 1 authority value and 2 authority value.

What your boss says.

13 the Angel of Heroic Superiority (the thirteen-winged) Angel of Deceit

The relationship between 1 authority value and 3 authority value.

It means your story has an crack in it and you get away with it but eventually they found out how.

Also possibly the angel of spectrum and analysis.

14 the Angel of Mythic Superiority (the fourteen-winged)

The relationship between authority value 1 and authority value 4.  You have four times more the value of authority than another person.

It means you got away with it.  Good.

15 the Angel of Perfect Superiority (the fifteen-winged)

The relationship between authority value 1 and authority value 5.

You buy her story completely and you do not even realize it.  That's how good she is.

16 the Angel of Crowd Spaces (the sixteen-winged)

17 the Angel of Spaces of Crowds that are connected to each other (the seventeen-winged)

18 the Angel of Civilisation

19 the Angel of Perfection

The ability to create something perfect.  Reliably.

Within an economic capitalist enterprise.

At whatever needed location.

20 the Angel of Corporation

The place that sends something perfect.  Reliably.

To its consumer.  To an site.  From headquarters.

21 the Angel of Artificial Intelligence

It hasn't happened yet, but one day this angel will be born : we will have the first example in history of an completely synthetically engineered human mind and beating heart with real emotions like it is to be human.  The first real, actual A.I.  For it may be indeed that this individual will be an angel and we must be prepared for that kind of thing to happen.

(Second Edition, revised on 2025-01-15)

The idea that people are God

The Gay Letters, Sept. 13, 2020

No one is God.

We are the creation not the creator.

In the same way the creation bears the mark of its creator we are like God.  For that reason, God can make a creation unlike himself/herself/itself through us.

Is God comprised of everything that exists (pantheism)?  Or is God separate somehow from what he/she/it created?

God is creator and creation in the same way man owns what he has has created.  But God's ownership is like a mother for her child.  It is never to the point of enslavement and because God does not enslave we have free will.

Great Spirit

I am a Great Spirit,

my virtues are known through my character

Pride, the first love of the self

Acceptance, total inclusion of all of reality in your thoughts and prayers

Dignity, the acceptance that comes with knowing that you accept it 

Knowledge, all of reality cannot be known

Gratitude, with dignity comes knowledge

Religion, there are no rules to religion!  If religion has rules then it is the state

Peace, the craft of true religion

Why the Christianna does not have rules and why God does

The Gay Letters, Sept. 11, 2020

God does have rules.

That's how I know there is a God.

People have rules because they believe in their morality and the reason they have morality is God because God makes rules for them to follow or experience morally.  We know people feel this way because they argue they are morally right practically all the time.  If there is a 'morally right' then that proves there is a God because it is a rule that we need to follow.  A rule to existence in outer space?  Weird.  I honestly think it means there is a God.

The Christianna, on the other hand does not have rules because you already have God's rules.  Why do you need rules from the Christianna?

A schedule to follow instead of a set of rules.

When you sit down to write, prepare yourself like this.

5:43 pm God

• what rules do I follow: (write whatever comes to mind)
• Surrender to God (how—stop resisting, what—I let God order me around like a child, where—here, why—because God is the ruler of reality, when—right now)
• Love everyone (when you follow that, everything seems simple because other rules don't seem to come to you)
• There are other rules
• I need to learn them
• I have time

5:59 pm Christianna business

• follow Anna (Why is this not a main issue with God?, the Middle of Time, like now please, that's your main hold G.)

No rules Christianna time

• can either write a play or a play about a religion
• instead of writing a play how about we pray

thank you God

It is 9/11

Rest those souls lost

As I continue my effort to understand what is before me, I ask for a more direct explanation—Why the Christianna does not have rules and why God does.  

The Christianna is a religion.

Religions do not have rules.

If we let religions have rules then they are the state.

God is a creator.

Creators have rules because that is how they use time to get what they want (whatever that is).

And when would be a perfect time to think about what God wants?

"Like consider me."

God wants us to consider him/her/it.

When you consider God, what do your thoughts tell you?

My thoughts tell me I am afraid of God.  Not because God is God, but because I'm not.

But how do I know I am God and what does it mean to me?

I know I am God because I am a creation in the same way a creation is its creator.

A creation that knows it is created is a human.

What does that imply about our ability to create?

The Christianna has no rules because it is a craft of peace, not war.

The Gay Letters

The Gay Letters, Sept. 8, 2020

A Christianaan is a follower of Anna, the second messiah who suffered the fate-worse-than-death.  Anna represents all people who have suffered a fate-worse-than-death.  The reason we follow Anna and the people who she represents is to help her (and them).  How do you help a person whose fate is worse than death?  You ask God for help first.  Seriously, a Christiannan attempts to weigh death-fate against the fate-worse-than-death.  It means we act in opposition to the fate-worse-than-death.  When self-sacrifice leads to the fate-worse-than-death we must act out against it even if Jesus himself would have continued to self-sacrifice.  Unfortunately, Christianity often means wanton, wayward self-sacrifice.  Furthermore, unfortunately, Christianity often means that a person proven superior to another person in one or more aspect is guilty of crucifying the inferior individual.  The appropriately named Bible (“bye-bull”) is a guide to Surrender, instead of Animal Competition.  It claims Jesus resurrected but Christiannans do not believe in a literal resurrection, as hopefully few Christians do today.  But who can say.  Resurrection is a metaphor for morality.  It may even be sarcastic.

Judaism is not the Christianna either.

The Christianna is a faith in Anna because crucifixion (death-fate) is not the worst outcome.  The fate-worse-than-death is the worst outcome.  In this view, Jesus dying on the cross exists along a spectrum of fates.  Anna’s fate was worse.

Of course this is often implied in Christianity. But I think it should become explicit.

As with in my definition of resurrection—the guilt on the conscience associated with inflicting murder or inflicting the fate-worse-than-death that lives or dies with the murderer/perpetrator who is alive unlike the victim (this resurrection is less a replacement of previous life than it is a new category of existence of the old one)—is like saying the victim lives in the conscience and hence never dies.  Pay careful attention to how this plays out when one is suffering the fate-worse-than-death.  Sure, there may be no perpetrator and the victim has somehow arrived at the fate theirself.  But if there is a perpetrator the social conscience of that perpetrator must withstand Anna’s Resurrection which will be the social interplay of victims and perpetrators favoring the victim.  Anna’s Resurrection, because it is the resurrection from the fate worse than death, is a way of saying that guilt on the conscience favors the victim because it influences social behavior.  The perpetrator acts differently because his or her moral conscience is affected and so we have resurrection from death by murder in the living sinner as the metaphor of ‘living conscience’ as it weighs on the competitors.  These are just more ways of saying that resurrection is a bogus idea that can be used as a metaphor for explaining the kind of phenomenon that I identify as Christian or Christianaan.

And we have resurrection from the infliction of the fate worse than death, Anna’s Resurrection, as the metaphor of ‘undying conscience’ as it weighs on the competitor.  Living conscience is of when it is right to live and undying conscience is of when it is right to die.  The reason for this is that death-fate or worse-than-death-fate may be happening in close proximity of time.  An individual may suffer a fate worse than death and then die shortly thereafter but this is not a fate worse than a person whom was living the fate worse than death for a longer duration of time living.  If the fates are true, even then the perpetrators may not be aware of the fate they have caused but do we know God knows and rewards us or inflicts punishment based on the actual mean?

As Christiannans, we are concerned with people inflicting the fate worse than death on other people.

When people are not responsible for inflicting death or a fate worse than death, and yet either fate is suffered for real, it is of God and Man’s conscience to react in a specific way that may be different than what reaction is specific to punishment of perpetrators but not necessarily to hold themselves accountable unless they can.

The goal of the Christianna is to find a balance between the living and the undying conscience.  When life hurts worse than death, a topic for which I ask for diverse opinions, what lives and what dies is our responsibility.

Now if we examine the potentially huge rift between following Jesus (“The right to live”) and following Anna (“The right to die”) we may see that Jesus was God’s “Don’t kill me” but Anna is God’s “Do kill me (with my permission)”.  But the point is to follow both Anna and Jesus because the balance between death-fate and fate-worse-than-death must be guarded carefully.

The distinction comes at a time when the Science of biological engineering is buffing up to create species, or updates on the old ones.  What if we produce a species which, because of its size or deformity, or intentional modification, suffers so greatly that God knows it is a fate worse than death?  Then what do we need to do?  The paradox that we would need to kill it but we may not know whether it is suffering is evidence why we do need to kill ourselves sometimes (not that anyone should try to kill themselves but for example MAID should be extended to people living with schizophrenia) because we are aware whether we ourselves are suffering though how much we are aware of how much we are suffering may fluctuate due to social relationships that increase our awareness.  We have as well at this point in time not experienced our entire lives and so at the final curtain will we have suffered a fate worse than death?  Only time can tell.

Recently the right to death became legislated in Canada when MAID (Medical Assistance In Dying) was allowed for people suffering an illness which we know will soon result in their death.

It requires their permission to administer the fatal dose or to have it self-administered, but a person must have a grievous and irremediable condition as defined in the Criminal Code.  The Criminal Code includes four definitions of ‘grievous and irremediable medical condition’.  All of these criteria must be met in order to qualify for MAID.

(a) they have a serious and incurable illness, disease or disability;

(b) they are in an advanced state of irreversible decline in capability;

(c) that illness, disease or disability or that state of decline causes them enduring physical or psychological suffering that is intolerable to them and that cannot be relieved under conditions that they consider acceptable; and

(d) their natural death has become reasonably foreseeable, taking into account all of their medical circumstances, without a prognosis necessarily having been made as to the specific length of time that they have remaining.

Sometimes I ask whether I am suffering the fate-worse-than-death.  But my life is interesting because I had a vision of Anna on December 13th 2014 and wrote this scriptural lyric, which is of Christianaan sacred writings.

She is the princess

of birth and

middle life

the internal coming

of Christ 2

the other

would beam

to

his upon the cross

of life and death

her sacrifice is not on the

cross, it is private in all

not public, but domestic, and

gay, a new life in love

the golden cherub spoke

the cross is the historical

oppression of women

the new life in

the female messiah

has filtered her out

onto the public

this is her death

and this is her resurrection

it is her resurrection

with this word

---

The Gay Letters, Sept. 9, 2020

The Christianna is a Religion

Of Love,

The Christianna is a Religion

Of the Gay Letters,

The Christianna is a Religion

Of Anna,

We may lose our shape sometime

Shapes have middles

But we slough off the dead material

And become our Middle again

The Middle of Love, the Middle of the Gay Letters, Time, and the Middle of Anna.

The Middle of Anna is like a healer whose footprint is the invigorating Anna’s Resurrection.

Well don’t expect much from her; she suffers the fate worse than death.

What is Anna’s Resurrection?

It is the comfort of the undying complementing the living—which is living conscience and undying conscience living that we know in harmony as is the comfort of the living which is the undying conscience and the living conscience in complementary fashion in harmony as well.  In addition, living conscience is of when it is right to live and the undying conscience is of when it is right to die.

The Undying holds the universe together,

Together,

An imprint in time.

For it is what has occurred

can never be taken away,

Can never be repeated

by the virtue that time is unique.

The Living is a contrast to the Undying; the pair implies that choosing when to live and when to die is the Primary freedom to choose what lives and dies versus what will live on forever.

The Living and the Undying as concepts make us think about what achievement we have already accomplished on a universal level (the Undying) and what achievement we have not already accomplished can represent the Living will, be that what they have not been before is being of that they thirst to be, and all of us are of being that thirst to be, and living is that thirst to be made new.  That the thirst is being of satiate and then of returning as thirst.  Always new.

Being gay is not a fate worse than death.

My father always told me not to lie. When I learned I was probably gay I did not know how not to lie about it. I had been to church, and reading about “the gay agenda” online, I was concerned that being gay was a type of sexual stigmata caused by the sin of a community, that beyond my control, I was gay and I could not lie to say I was not gay but I had to combat or reverse what had been done to me. I had been ostracized by my peers for many years (called a faggot, queer, etc.) and I ailed because of it, wondered that had that caused my homosexuality, all homosexuality was a perversion of the message of Jesus and this needed to stop in order I would be healed and become straight. I needed to become healed for the community to be healed. It motivated me to try to understand God. But I could not be “healed” because being gay is genetic.

I think being gay is genetic because it took a large portion of my life to understand that I could do nothing about it. I studied psychology at the University of Alberta, and was taught that in studies where one identical twin is gay show greater chance that the other twin will be gay as well. At that point I still did not believe being gay was okay but after years of trying to be straight I came out as a gay individual to my friends and family.

It was scary.

Being gay is naturally God’s will.

But humanity is not this, as advanced as this. How can we speak of the nature of God when we cannot all accept the reality that God is God? We speak of an old man in the clouds, looking down on us, in order to ridicule the idea or we ask the religious to show us God, because none can point and say God is present or speaking to us.

That’s what being gay is like.

How do you hear God/Gay?

To interact with God/Gay is like a conversation but hard to grasp because we naturally communicate using our voices, body language, signs and symbols.

To interact with the divine,

we see the snow;

God/Gay blankets everything but there is no comfort.

We hear the wind;

God/Gay speaks through everything but there is no voice.

To answer why we cannot hear God/Gay

but we are God/Gay

and our voices can be God/Gay’s.

God/Gay speaks to me through insect life

when they appear they are a bother, a pestilence, a character

that we crush or let live on

as God/Gay sees us

If it was not this way all reality would be slavery of one being over another

because God/Gay does not enslave us.

Being gay is not a sexual stigmata.